Inbreeding on the Council

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I must admit I was one of the sad people who did watch the webcast from time to time. I worked until 5-30pm, saw parts of Pointless- what an aptly named TV programme, - had a couple of organic phone calls, eat my steak and kidney pie ( Canhams does a wonderful Steak pie too) with my own ragged jack kale, while watching one of those endless “location, location, I need a vacation”, house moving to Brighton, TV reality programmes.

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With all due respect (i.e. none) I dipped irreligiously into the Webcam and out of the Webcam broadcast of the Council meeting; the broadcast was of such poor quality (at the moment I am talking technically!) that is made the broadcast moon landings of the 1960s look positively modern. The poor little pixels were clearly undernourished, as you could see by their need for constant coffee break and the “comfort breaks” we and the Council demanded to stop our eyes straining.

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The name of the Mayor was often stuck on the Webcam, - I was confused at first and wondered how she could have so many deep manly voices. At one stage she was criticised for asking if people wanted to speak …tut, tut in an elected democracy !… but the Lady Mayor handled the meeting with supreme calm clapping maidens speaking, sorry maiden speeches, and dispatching those with spurious points of order to their seats,...... like naughty boys who would not get any “in breeding” or ice cream with their pudding tonight.

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There was one excellent speech by a labour councillor on the need for subsidised allotments, that received a long and loud round of applause from the public gallery. There were other supportive Conservative comments that were politely but clearly applauded. There was a delightful, unprepared speech by one Green Councillor who spoke in a heartfelt way on the dilemmas of agreeing a budget and that on 98% of the issues all Councillors had agreed. Year after year they build on the good work of their successors. Why did this not happen on allotments I asked myself.? Now this was certainly better than Pointless.

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Now you might be wondering about when the “in breeding” started. Well one of the points of conflict between the Conservatives and the Greens was the proposed selling of the CD1 registration plate, which a Conservative Councillor compared to selling the family silver. A show of hand was asked for to see how many of the Green Councillors were born in Brighton and 2 hands were raised- someone suggested the rest had cycled in. This was seen to be the coup de grace.

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The response from one of the Green Councillors (I am not sure who, as the webcast kept showing the Mayor’s name), who had an attractive, low cut dress emphasised by the webcam, asserted that outsiders were necessary to stop in breeding in Brighton. All the rest of the Green councillors (and no doubt the rest of the chamber- but we could not see) were collapsing on their seats behind her with laughter and I am sure some were in tears. It gave a whole new dimension to the Londoners who came to Seedy Sunday (see the cartoon from Latest Homes by Antony Hodgson). Location, location they needed a vacation, the kind that puts fresh air into dirty weekends?.

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I was looking out for what was going to happen on the allotment price rises. However I missed a lot between my pointless TV and my almost perfect pie and, like an unfinished novel, after the first set of votes the webcam was not available when I tuned in again. .

I tried to look at the Tweets, but my prejudice is confirmed -that they should be called twits- as there was nothing helpful on allotments. As the innovator of Twitter (Jack Dorsey) said today, the 500 million tweet users should get a life.

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After last night I am sure the Councillors are looking forward to getting a life, digging on their allotments – yes many of the good Councillors of all parties have allotments- and they should stop “in breeding” by forming diverse, seed circles. As an organic gardener and Seedy Sunday expert, I would be happy to give advice.

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I presume that, as the Labour amendments won, allotment fees will go up by only £4 a year. But after 4 hour of Councillors speaking from the dark side of the moon and Pointless interventions, who knows!

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I am off to buy the Argus.

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