The festive period is a ready excuse for doing just about anything you feel like, including straddling a photocopier at the office party, jetting off to Kerala for a last-minute break or going on a rampage with a bread knife through a crowded shopping centre. Of course I’m not suggesting that you would want to spend an entire weekend gathered round the goggle box. But while the spirit may be willing, the flesh is weak. Especially after a month or so of mulled wine and mince pies.

Much like life, Christmas television can also be compared to a box of chocolates.

You’ve got your foil-wrapped, heart shaped treats in the form of Downton Abbey and Doctor Who. Your fudge, praline and nut-encrusted family favourites like Eastenders and Strictly Come Dancing. And then of course, there are the ones that are picked over and discarded, to be left rattling round in the bottom of the box until somebody finally gets round to finishing them off around the 28th December. The marzipan, the orange crèmes - yes I’m talking about Hotel for Dogs and Keeping Up Appearances.

You don't like them, you don't really want them but they'll just keep nagging at you until you give in and eat them.

So if you really can’t face anything more challenging than peeling sprouts, Telly Belly has picked out five Yuletide television lowlights that you might consider vegging out on front of. It’s either that or parlour games, after all.

Santa Claus: the Movie – Christmas Eve, ITV1, 9.25.

No Christmas, I repeat, NO Christmas can ever be complete without this film. Yes, it’s awful, yes any belief you ever held in Santa has long since been rinsed away, and yes you’ve probably seen it about 97 times already. But you know why that is? BECAUSE NO CHRISTMAS IS COMPLETE WITHOUT IT.

Christmas Coach Trip – Boxing Day, Channel 4, 17.10.

Being in close proximity to your nearest and not so dearest, either spoiling for a fight or simmering in hostile silence is what this time of year is all about. So you can either take your mind off your troubles or have them pale into insignificance as you watch a group of nit-picking, narrow-minded tourists completely ruin a free holiday with quibbles like ‘Dave puts too much butter on his toast’ or ‘Margaret kept blowing her nose at the museum’.

Winter Wipeout Christmas Special – Christmas Eve, BBC1, 16.50.

Filmed out in Argentina where health and safety is lax enough to get away with this sort of plywood death trap, your hangover is bound to recede as those poor unfortunate souls, no doubt dressed as reindeer or a pudding, go splat in the name of entertainment.

Ice Road Truckers – Channel 5, all ruddy week.

I like the thinking over at Channel 5. Pack an empty space in your schedule with repeats of a programme that can, at first glance, be loosely associated with the season, but in actual fact has absolutely nothing to do with it. This is the television equivalent of a chocolate orange a.k.a. last minute panic purchase for the person you forgot to buy anything for.

Eddie Stobart’s Christmas Delivery – Channel 5, Christmas Day, 21.05.

Seriously??

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Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here