Are you happy with Helloween?

At risk of accusations re taking my infamous ‘humbug’ stance (generally reserved for the over-commercialism of Christmas and the sickly side of Valentine’s Day, which I’ve always disliked), I couldn’t help thinking… what on earth happened to the humble Halloween of my youth? Maybe I’ve been stuck in a bubble during the past few years (or in another country) because I can’t recollect Halloween being ‘Such a Big Thing’ in Britain before… certainly not to the point where we collectively spent more than quarter of a billion on this seasonal event.

Flying into a total bombardment of ‘made in China’ plastic decorations, I couldn’t help thinking that the proliferation of Halloween-themed outfits, masks, toys, etc., is designed largely to make money for retailers who are taking their lead from America in hyping any public occasion to the max. And, really, we don’t need to buy into it. It’s not necessary to spend a fortune on plastic skeletons on strings when we could amuse the kids by making our own out of cardboard. OK, so not everyone can fit ‘craft corner’ around their jobs and the school run; but most busy parents could conduct a Google Images search for “halloween skeleton” or “halloween skeleton colouring page” and keep the little ones amused, sans plastique.

And, really, what’s wrong with a carved-out turnip with a candle stuck inside it; handily placed on the table on the eve of October 31 (but not in the window, where it might set fire to the curtains, as per a notable ‘Fireman Sam’ episode). Do we really need to have the whole house decorated 10 days beforehand?

These days, the kids aren’t happy unless the neighbours have invested in huge tins of over-priced Halloween sweets to hand out liberally. It seems that seasonal spooky wrappers justify an inflation rate of about 33%. And what is the result of this trick or treat sweetie onslaught? OAPs all over town who have neglected to fork out £9.99 for a tin of Ghoul Gums et al quake behind their doors, hoping that their “no trick or treat signs” will prove effective. Children gorge themselves on more candy than Willy Wonka has seen in a lifetime and give themselves cavities that will make local dentists happy at experiencing a scary profit before Halloween 2012.

Harking back to my childhood, the best fun was the free fun: apple bobbing, carving the turnip, putting a sheet over your head and running round the house making spooky noises… and, for adults, attending a party to celebrate Halloween, maybe with a gothic-looking outfit or some face paint. We didn’t fall into the manipulative grip of the retailers who wanted to sell us a house full of plastic rubbish.

Do today’s kids even know the history of Halloween? The word first came to light in the 16th century: it represents a Scottish variant of All-Hallows-Even ("evening"): the night before All Hallows Day. The development of artefacts and symbols associated with Halloween occurred over time. For example, the carving of ‘jack-o'-lanterns’ springs from the ‘souling’ custom of carving turnips into lanterns as a way of remembering souls held in purgatory. The turnip has traditionally been used in Ireland and Scotland at Halloween, while immigrants to North America used the native pumpkin, which is larger and easier to carve. The American tradition of carving pumpkins is recorded in 1837 and was originally associated with harvest time, and not specifically with Halloween.

The imagery of Halloween comes from many sources, including national customs, works of Gothic and horror literature, and classic horror films. Elements of the autumn season, such as pumpkins, corn husks, and scarecrows, are also prevalent. Plastic definitely didn’t feature on this list, until recently.

As for trick or treating, you could be forgiven for thinking that it hails from America but the custom actually dates back to the Middle Ages in Britain, when it also encompassed Christmas wassailing. Trick or treating resembles the late medieval practice of ‘souling’, when poor folk would go door-to-door on Hallowmas (November 1), receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls' Day (November 2). In Scotland and Ireland, ‘guising’ – the practise of children disguised in costume venturing door-to-door seeking food, cakes or coins — is a traditional Halloween custom, recorded in 1895. The practise of guising at Halloween in North America is first recorded in 1911.

This coming Monday, whether you’re ‘guising’ in a full-on plastic scare suit or hiding behind a locked door, lest you might end up with a bag of flour over your head, I hope you enjoy All Hallows Eve, UK style. If you ask me, the scariest thing about Halloween is the price tag. With that in mind, I’ll be opting for the bobbing apples and cardboard skeletons in a place where the hype doesn’t exist and the nation hasn’t spent £280m on seasonal items in the midst of the recession’s grip. Englanders – you can keep your plastic tat to yourselves! But, hey, at least the Halloween hype stops Christmas from starting before November, and that's not such a bad thing.

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