A year ago today, Sandra Carey-Boggans, 42, was told she had as little as two months to live.

The mother-of-two from The Green, Southwick, thought she had beaten breast cancer but was told it had spread and was now terminal.

She decided to live with the illness rather than die from it.

She brought Christmas forward and hosted a party to say goodbye to 300 friends and family, including her sons Jacob, 11, and Lewis, eight.

She also stormed ahead with plans to marry her fianc Tom, 49, and booked a dream trip to New Zealand to visit her sister.

It was her belief she would die after the holiday yet she is still going strong 12 months on.

As she looks back on her year, it is clear the physical and emotional ordeals have taken their toll. Her body aches and she is often tired.

She suffers from migraines, hot flushes and night sweats and has lost her libido.

She also faces the prospect of early retirement from the job she loves as a youth worker at West Sussex County Council and she cannot enjoy the exercise that, as a qualified fitness instructor, she used to be so passionate about.

Sandra said: "Now every headache, twitch, ache and pain sends my mind into exaggerated panic. Is this it? Is it starting?' "

"I am naturally terrified at my impending ending so I block it out as much as I can and keep busy and try to stay positive and enjoy the time I have."

Despite the pain, Sandra has had a special year doing all the things she has always wanted to do.

She dyed her hair platinum blonde and bought a yellow convertible car.

She went hot air ballooning, horse riding and rode on the back of a motorbike.

She learnt how to sing and hired a studio to record Thank You For The Days with Lewis and Jacob and a self-penned love song for Tom, which she wants played at her funeral.

Sandra said: "I guess we all feel like we're going to live forever. Being told I'm not going to brought about a sense of panic to fit in as many experiences and do as much as I possibly can to prepare my loved ones.

"I saw no purpose in becoming depressed and feeling sorry for myself. Whether or not I was going to die seemed irrelevant and what seemed important was to value what I already have and make the most of enjoying and appreciating it."

She added: "If someone said choose the way you want to die', this would be it.

"When I hear about people dying suddenly I feel sorry for their families.

They haven't had time to come to terms with things."

Sandra receives infusions in her arm for bone cancer on three-week cycles. At the end of these cycles she has to take to her bed with a splitting migraine. She has also had to deal with a mastectomy and hysterectomy, infections and an allergy to chemo drugs, which caused arthritis in her shoulders and hips.

At one point she was taken to hospital after suffering deep vein thrombosis.

For Sandra, who has always looked after her appearance, the scars have been psychological as well as physical.

She said: "I have had to come to terms with a change in identity. Following all the surgery I had quite a different body image, especially after the reconstruction. I still get a shock when I catch a glimpse of myself."

But by far her biggest concern is the effect on her boys.

She said: "I worry the children will become confused. I don't want them to become complacent about me still being alive as I want them to come to terms with the fact I am going to die.

"But although I want them to know I am going to die, I don't want it to become all-consuming and take over our last times together.

"But I do believe I did the right thing by having it out in the open with them.

"I always believe in honesty."

  • As of next week, Sandra will take a break from her weekly column and will write a monthly one instead.

Look out for the next update on Saturday, October 14.