We’re at a wedding in a beautiful country house in North Yorkshire this weekend, without Little L. I’ve spent my morning pampering at my own pace and feel glorious. If you are contemplating your wedding reception and not sure whether you can afford to invite kids, for budgetary or guest number reasons, then don’t think twice about stipulating no kids.

Let me first be clear, we were lucky enough to be able to invite kids to our wedding. The venue was flexible, the cost was reasonable and for me it was very important to have my friends and their kids at our special day. However, we were lucky. We have a nice mix of friends and family who do and don’t have children, so the numbers weren’t out of the control. Also I knew many of the children quite well, had watched them grow, so it felt quite natural to include them. This would be my advice to any bride & groom planning their day, evaluate your personal situation and make your decision. Don’t be swayed by grumpy, selfish guests voicing their opinions - it’s your day after all.

It isn’t always easy for couples with babies to make alternative arrangements for weddings. I will be at another good friend’s nuptials in September, potentially with a baby who will be less than a month old. That’s why some couples allow ‘babes in arms’ if appropriate. Not everyone has a strong network of family or friends who can help out with childcare either. If the wedding is out of town, it can be hard to leave your kids, even if it is for a friend or family members special day. The pull of being there for your children consistently is strong and shouldn’t be underestimated, although for some parents time away from the offspring is welcome and healthy! It really does boil down to individual’s situation and philosophies on parenting and family life plus how old the children are can make a difference.

Wedding planning can be stressful and one of the most tense aspects is deciding on the guest list. So my plea to brides, grooms and guests alike would be to make decisions comfortable for yourselves, be open and honest about why you’ve made those decisions and remember whose day is really is.

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