Today the strange feeling in my head started again. It's a bit like the sound of a distant train and keeps going round and around and I find it hard to concentrate.

I don't like the feeling much. And then my vision started playing up too.

I told the boys that I had a headache and might need to lie down but I carried on with my homely chores.

I rarely feel 100 per cent well any more but I think that's more to do with the effects of a brutally advanced menopause due to the cancer and the treatments I'm undergoing.

Mostly I think I'm doing pretty well and, although I've definitely had to slow down a lot, I'm still able to really enjoy life and feel I have something left to offer.

I'm keen not to let my aches, pains and ailments consume me. I don't want to put my limited energies all into work as it affects my quality of time with the children.

I managed to catch up with lots of people today and rushed back for Jacob's school swimming gala.

It mattered to him that I was there and that mattered to me. He's a keen and competent sportsman but gets very nervous at public events.

I wonder who will be cheering him on next year.

After school we went over to the beach. I ended up feeling like the Pied Piper as I sat on the beach with an army of their friends.

I felt very accepted as one of the gang. The way they chatted and bantered between each other including me but with no obvious acknowledgement that I'm an adult.

I sorted through a lot of papers for work and I became very unsettled. I don't feel I have a future at work and found myself with diminished interest because I also have no future in life and in my mind don't want any of my life chucked away.

I know to stay strong I must stay focused and not lose interest.

I think again maybe it is time to slow down and stop working.

Every time I feel fraught or stressed out with life's day-to-day pressures of work or the demands of family life, too much to do and not enough time to do it in, I joke and I laugh and say I was really destined to a life of sunbathing on a yacht being fed strawberries and drinking champagne.

I now feel I owe it to myself to have this experience before I die.

This weekend I met the person to make it happen. I feel like if you believe in something enough it can happen. I find that these opportunities are just falling in my lap.

Once I've actually fulfilled that dream I'll need to think up another. After all I just want to have fun. Lovely day. We then drove over to my sister's house in Henfield.

Everyone watched the football and I swam in the pool. I felt like I was having really good quality time playing with the boys in the pool and spa.

We really enjoyed our day and felt very relaxed. Tom's daughter Amy and her boyfriend Alan stayed over in the evening.

They must have thought I was a mad woman because I was so hot in the night I got up and slept in the garden on a lounger.

It was actually quite a nice surreal experience. Amy is such a lovely person and I feel like she'll be the one to support Tom after my death.

I can see her genuinely caring supporting and looking out for Tom and the boys, who I think will benefit from having a woman around to give that special little extra touch to their lives.

Sunday was another lovely day. We stopped at my sister's house and made the most of cooling off in her swimming pool.

Jacob, Lewis and I created a very impressive performance in the water which we have perfected and I plan to get it videoed as I think it will be fun for them to look back on.

It's been really special this weekend having the quality time together. I had that feeling of being totally in touch with my family.

After the boys had settled, Sunday night suddenly became a panic as I had to get back to reality.

I realised I've made too many appointments and it will be difficult to fit them all in. I also discovered I'd broken my phone and then I started worrying about worrying.

I don't want to worry any more. I want the whole world and everyone in it to be happy, maybe then I'd be able to stop worrying.

I had to do the dreaded food shop tonight and play a game with Lewis and his friend to make it more bearable.

I gave them £1 each and said that the person who used their pound most wisely would win another pound.

They presumed this meant the person who could buy the most sweets, although Lewis thought it would be who purchased the healthiest food.

I actually told them they had both lost because I wanted them to keep it and double their money.

An old friend and colleague visited bearing gifts of expensive wine and champagne (you can never get enough of those types of visitors!) Seeing Dave made me realise even more how much I want and need to have the time now to reminisce about old times.

I want to let people know how they've contributed to my life and all those unique things that those individuals have done that have impacted on me, making me the person I am.

Our lovely neighbours had stopped by while I was out and given us the contents of their drinks cupboard.

It brightened my day to think that people can be so generous and nice and now if it does all get too much for me, at least I know I can drink myself to oblivion!

We are I guess all unique yet we have common strings that make us the person we are.

Today I managed mother, wife, professional, social, friend and neighbour.

That's a lot of hats. I had promised Jacob I would go as a helper on his school trip to the lifeboat station in Shoreham and I wasn't going to let him down.

The children all thanked me for coming but it was also a new experience for me and I really enjoyed it.

Poor Tom had been rained off from work with the storm and messed up trains and at around 5.45am rushed home soaking wet.

I was so busy nurturing my frightened kittens that I virtually ignored poor Tom.

So I made amends and phoned him to come and meet me for lunch on the beach.

After which I cycled to work so it became a bit of a mad rush. On my cycle journey home the panniers broke on my bike.

I had to be very imaginative and use my bicycle lock to chain the panniers back on.

It wasn't very easy cycling because every time I pedalled my shoes fell off! But I was quite proud of my ingenuity.

We had a lovely evening with our neighbours Jennifer and Anthony who leave for Egypt this week. This goodbye I fear is forever.

Sandra's charity song is available on CD from the Village Care shop, High Street, Henfield; Rajah indian restaurant, Windmill Parade, Southwick; and Girl Talk hairdresser, Southwick Square, Southwick.