Harry Herbert reports from the World Cup in South Africa.

This World Cup couldn’t get more bizarre. The locals are not sure who to put their trust in; the only stand out performer being Argentina and even they realise Maradona’s team could easily plummet to mediocrity.

When you look at the results from Spain, Germany, Italy and especially France – England’s past two games are put into perspective.

With Capetonians, I sat around a big screen to watch Switzerland surprise the European champions. There was more than an air of disappointment, as one lady had said to me, ‘why are Spain only winning by one goal?’ I had to break it to her that Spain were, in fact, playing in red.

During the The Azurri’s 1-1 draw with Paraguay, the crowd had resorted to a Mexican wave. The epitome of boredom. At the time, I was supporting the underdogs; and was eventually joined by thousands more as the South Americans equalled their opponents.

For the people in South Africa it is a certainty that such teams should prevail over smaller nations. Although, some credit has to be given to New Zealand et al; including the North Koreans valiant display against Brazil.

It is this Communist country who have brought such peculiar stories to the tournament.

FIFA has confirmed that it has no further information about the whereabouts of the four North Korea players who are believed to have gone missing in South Africa.

Around 100 so-called fans, all Chinese, have been employed by the nation to support the Koreans. I have been told they are all professional actors and musicians.

Having heard all of this, I ventured into the town mall to try and purchase some merchandise. I was laughed at. Not only because I wanted the shirt of a rank outsider, but because, as one assistant put it, ‘they came with the only kit and will leave with it. That is all we know.’ Kim Jong-il, the country’s (dear) leader has delayed the nation’s viewing for the matches by 90 minutes. One thing I have learned about this despot is his love of football, or, as is the wont of the typical despot, his love of telling people how football should be played. He has been known to SMS the coach of the team, demanding they play certain players and depict particular tactics.

Yet, because of its unpredictability, the tournament is growing on me. There are few groups who are totally decided and the goal tally is building and even though most African teams have disappointed, their fans still turn out in carnival style.

Of course, England will have to improve infinitely against Slovenia. The mood is still optimistic with England fans over here (to an extent) as we have not been subject to such media speculation such as the current ‘unrest’ in the group.

In Capello we trust.

Don’t get me wrong, I was there at Green Point stadium and saw the new low England hit.