Quality time with my boys is so special

Once the boys had gone to school I made a couple of phone calls to change appointments and crawled back into my bed where I stayed until lunch time.

I managed a bit of work before the school run but not a great deal.

Jacob and Lewis were fabulous after school and Lewis proudly presented a class certificate declaring him star of the week.

We put it on the fridge to show it off and bought cakes to celebrate. It amazes me how the sense of pride I get from my children is so powerful and uplifting.

Tom and I went to visit Lesley and she looked so much brighter that my spirits lifted even further. Although I know she has a long way to go and it will be a challenging time for her and her family I feel confident that she is going to get better.

My moods this week seem to be governed by Lesley's progress and I'm still really struggling to come to terms with what's happened.

Unfortunately I had yet another migraine and was quite sick during the night. I was unable to make it into work so mum came over to look after me and the boys.

It was another lost day filled mainly by sleep. It's very frustrating because my time is so precious. I don't think I can afford to lose whole days by spending them in bed yet undoubtedly sleep is what my body seems to crave.

I'll just try and view it as a good thing which makes me stronger for future quality time instead of quantity time.

My headache was still loitering on Saturday but nowhere near as strong. We spent time having photographs taken for a national women's magazine.

I was exhausted!

We were posing on the beach over Southwick Lock trying to look summery. How mad is that? Freezing cold, just to suit the seasonal publication.

Oh well, we did it, and crazy and tiring as it was, it was quite fun being in the limelight and hopefully we will get some nice shots out of it to keep. I just hope that the pneumonia doesn't set in before the cancer does.

We were late getting to the hospital to see Lesley. She looked much better and was managing to feed herself and we even got the benefit of some of her wicked sense of humour.

It's awful to see her unwell and I want to magic her better particularly as she's been such a strength to me.

It was her husband Alan's birthday today so he and their daughter Anna came back from the hospital to our house.

My mum and her husband David were also at my house as they had been looking after the boys. We had a huge Indian takeaway and the children played the PlayStation.

We sang Happy Birthday to Alan, gave him a cake and chatted for hours. It's good that our families get along so well.

I keep visualising this silly cartoon-type sketch in my head. It's of the grim reaper following me everywhere trying to dig into me with his scythe and getting angry and frustrated because he keeps missing. So he plays dirty and quickly lashes out to the side and hits my best friend instead. That sums up how I feel.

I had individual quality time with the boys today. Jacob slept over at his friend's house the night before so it was just Lewis, Tom and I at home this morning.

Lewis and I played around with Lego and he made some lovely things for me. Then we went into the garden for a while and Lewis impressed me with his new-found skills on the pogo stick.

Tom's mum, brother and his brother's wife drove down from Surrey so we cycled into Shoreham and met them for lunch.

Jacob and I cycled back together and as my energy levels were low I fell asleep soon after we got in. It feels like the tiredness is getting progressively worse.

Later I dropped Jacob at my Dad's. Jacob was happy for some quality time with grandad and Leo the dog.

Jacob and Dad were messing around drawing pictures and they designed some very choice ones of me, I must say. Jacob was really laughing and enjoying the banter, which carried on in the car on the journey home.

Tom and Lewis still weren't back and, although time was getting on, I enjoyed a lovely walk over the Lock with my first-born child as he energetically inline-skated alongside me.

I cycled into work today. Mum and David came over to look after Jacob and Lewis because they're on school holidays.

David potted-up some pots and baskets, making our back garden lovely to come home to. It's nice because I didn't expect to see another summer and now I'm feeling quite hopeful.

We all popped in to see the Southwick Art Club's exhibition. It's quite flattering as there is a painting displayed that my friend Mandy has done of us.

Mandy said lots of people had recognised us from our appearances in the paper and on the news. That quite appealed to my vanity but I don't think she's had any offers for the painting! After dinner Tom, Jacob, Lewis and I drove into Brighton, where we met up with our lovely friend Jordan who had arranged our next recording session in Will's studio.

The boys were on good form tonight and knocked-out the notes as we put the final touches to our personalised version of Thank You For The Days.

I am so pleased with the recording and it is especially touching as Lewis lets out a little giggle at one point, which is most heart-warming.

It is also extra extra special because the choice of song was originally Lesley's and the words are perfect. The song will be available soon on our website www.sayiloveyou.org It's been a fun day. Thanks to the support and other people's kindness I've managed to do what I've wanted and needed to do. I go to bed feeling a sense of achievement and contentment.

I got my nails done today and I've been invited back to have a pamper evening with friends. I'm deeply moved and so grateful for the kindness shown to me.

Also Donna from The Pink Rolls Royce Company was in the salon. She provided a complementary pink limo for my hen night in October and we talked about getting the car out again and making a night of it.

I felt enthusiastic and thought how exciting it could all be yet, if I'm honest, I don't feel able to truly let go of how sad I am feeling about Lesley.

I'm not sure, at the moment, that it feels right to be enjoying myself. Tom is being really sweet and relating my emotions to his, given our situation, but I just don't know.

I had a fabulous bike ride with the boys in the evening. When Mum and David finished their babysitting duties, Jacob, Lewis and I cycled with them back towards Henfield; my godson Sam and Jacob's friend Liam in tow.

I was gutted to discover my mum and David, both in their 70s, could cycle the socks off us and I was most grateful for a quiet night in with fish and chips and a relaxing film.

During the bike ride I asked Sam if he was enjoying the school holidays and he said today had been his favourite day. I thought that was lovely.