In terms of work, I have had a very constructive week. I have been getting lots of reports finished in time for going off for my breast reconstruction operation next week.

It's a really positive feeling to get everything done.

I was supposed to take samples to hospital but didn't have time. It's strange how at one point that would have felt such a priority but now I feel: what's one more day?

I saw a letter that my oncologist had written about my condition. In the letter he wrote: "Her chances of long-term survival are remote and almost non-existent."

Although I know all that, it makes it so real. It's quite strange, especially when you feel quite well.

I had a really bad migraine one morning - they are a side effect from my treatment. They are really severe and not something I used to get so it's really scary when I get them.

It makes me worry because I know that the cancer could go to my brain.

My mum has been so fantastic. She just drops everything to come and help with the boys as soon as I call. I have booked a weekend away with her so that we can get some quality time. We are going to stay in a hotel in Tunbridge Wells.

I was really conscious that you almost take your mum for granted. I don't think I can imagine anything worse in the world than losing a child and I am still her little girl.

I took my samples to the hospital and picked up some new medication. I am taking nine tablets a day, including vitamin supplements.

At the weekend Tom and I went to Ikea - the boys didn't want to come shopping! I bought some nice boxes for the boys' memory boxes I thought we could put together and decorate with a photo collage.

In the evening Tom and I went to The Grand for dinner which was lovely. It was a £100 voucher for dinner that we were given as a wedding present. I had a champagne cocktail for the first time.

Sunday morning was what I think of as a perfect Sunday morning. Lewis jumped into bed with me. He likes this game where I draw things on his back and he tries to guess what it is.

Then Jacob got in as well. I wondered if these are things they will remember when they grow up, things they can teach to their children.

My favourite singer is Tracy Chapman. There is a lyric she sings: "If you knew that you would die today, would you change?" It makes me feel that if you think you would change, then why not do it now?

You have to make the most of every moment because life is a precious thing to be given. I haven't really wanted to do anything mad - I just want to spend time with the family.

I went to see my friend Margaret who is a healer and another friend Rinty who gives me a facial every week. They are so kind to give up their time for me every week.

At the weekend Tom and I are going for dinner on the Thames, then we are going to see Mamma Mia and ride on the London Eye.

I am keen to find more things to look forward to - it keeps us all positive.

Tom's niece sent me some ghastly coloured monkey slipper-socks which made me smile! Also I came home one day to find a friend had tied a balloon with a smiley face near my front door.

Another friend gave me some photos he had found of me with young people from the youth centre I worked at. All these things make such a difference.

There is no doubt I am going to die but how I make the journey is my choice and I want to enjoy it.

My first foster child Sacha came round. She is 19. I had asked her if she would sing at my funeral. But we were talking about it and we were both in tears. I realised I couldn't expect her to do that.

She has chosen a song and she is going to record it in a studio and play the recording.

I am excited about the operation next week. I am a little bit apprehensive but, from a selfish point of view, if I died under anaesthetic at least I would avoid all the pain. But I am sure it will be fine.