If there was a point to this show, I missed it.
I tried really, really hard to find it - but I just couldn't.
Unless, however, the point was to make me want to run home as fast as I could and put my Smiths albums on at top volume to try and erase the nightmare of Morrissey's genius transposed into Andrew Lloyd Webber-esque show numbers.
It certainly did that. This musical-cum-dance-cum-physical theatre piece stars six polished songsters using Morrissey and Marr's songs and the emotions they contain to act out a vague narrative about different types of relationships.
Any Smiths fans out there, just imagine - if you will - the horror of How Soon Is Now?, Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me or Asleep given a flamenco, blues or power ballad makeover and belted out by classic stage-school voices.
Perhaps they are trying to demonstrate the full emotional depth of Morrissey's words - but any Smiths fan knows that's simply an unnecessary endeavour.
The songs are backed by a wonderful string quartet - definitely the best thing about the show. I felt sorry for them towards the end, though, when they have to leave their seats and climb onstage to become part of the action.
The cast is technically brilliant, with pitch-perfect voices and excellent dance and movement routines. It's just what they do with them that is dire. Some shows are better than others, I guess.
Showing until Saturday. Call 08700 606650 for tickets.
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