I'll live what's left of my life to the full

The mum-of-two had had one breast removed and endured six months of intense chemotherapy followed by five more weeks of radiotherapy.

She had a hysterectomy at the same time as having her ovaries removed in June and, by July, she had never felt better.

The 41-year-old said: "I came out of hospital and felt absolutely fantastic. I was down on the beach with the children the day after I came home."

She found out she had breast cancer two days after she and her boys Jacob, ten, and Lewis, seven, moved in to their new home with her partner, Tom Boggans, in The Green, Southwick, in May last year.

Her review 14 months later gave her no cause for further concern and she and Tom, 49, were telling everyone the worst was over.

But a visit to the oncologist at Worthing Hospital last month changed everything.

He told the couple the cancer had been found in the ovaries and womb she'd had removed and there was nothing that could be done to save her life.

Three weeks ago, she was told it had spread to her bones and her stomach.

The consultant explained that although he knew of a case where the patient had survived for five years, he could not give her a prognosis of more than two months at a time because the cancer was so quick and aggressive.

She said: "All I can remember hearing is, You have an incurable disease'. It still doesn't feel like it's happening.

"You have the shock and then it's just a build-up of trying to take it all in and your head feels like it's going to explode.

"Once I had sorted out my will and what what's going to happen to my children - it sounds really tacky but it was surreal - everything seemed more beautiful, particularly the sound of children laughing.

"From finding out it's terminal, the most overwhelming feeling is guilt. I know that doesn't sound rational but it's totally overwhelming. It's like you've been in a competition and everyone has been supporting you and then you come last.

"Ultimately, with my children I feel horrendous about leaving them. It seems to be the most cruel thing you could do. I don't want anything bad to happen to them so this is not supposed to happen.

"It just seems wrong. I've had a very fortunate happy life but they're still so young. I'm not sad or frightened for me but I'm just worried because I can't be there for them anymore and that upsets me.

"When I told them, Jacob cried. I asked if they wanted to say anything and Lewis said he wished when I died I could come back to life again but without the cancer. I thought it was so sweet and they both came over and hugged me.

"I was determined not to cry because I wanted to be strong for them and I managed it - but I had a few drinks afterwards.

"I get lots of attention which I lap up. But it's everybody else I feel for because they're really precious and I feel responsible for the pain they're ultimately going to suffer."

Sandra is well known in her community, having been an Adur district councillor from 1996 to 2000. She has been a youth worker for West Sussex County Council for 20 years in Adur and a foster carer for about eight years.

Despite her condition Sandra has remained positive throughout, taking each stage at a time and she believes this has helped her.

After every treatment, she has arranged herself treats, which have included pampering weekends away with Tom, going airborne in a glider, a hot-air balloon ride with Lewis, trips to the theatre and a family day out to watch Chelsea Football Club.

Even now, she remains optimistic.

She said: "All the consultant is willing to say is two months so I suppose that means two months. But I'm going to live longer because I have tickets to New Zealand."

As soon as they found out the cancer was terminal she and Tom, who have been engaged for two years, arranged their wedding day for the first available date.

They will be getting married at Worthing Register Office on October 22 and there will be a pink theme to mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

All 58 guests will wear at least one item of pink and Tom spent his lunch hour yesterday looking for a pink suit.

She said: "Tom has been nagging me for a long time about getting married. When I was first diagnosed, he wanted us to get married then but I didn't want to because people would think we were just getting married because I was ill.

"But I love him to pieces and I know how much it means to Tom and it's one thing I can do to show him how much I love him and appreciate him for what he has done for me and the boys. He's an amazing man and he's held my hand throughout."

The couple met through a blind date three and a half years ago through her sister, Ann.

When she was put in isolation after contracting an infection during her chemo, he could not see her because he had a cold but would visit the hospital regardless and call her on his mobile outside so she could look out of the window and wave.

Sandra chose her wedding dress with her mum, Mavis Wise, 72, on Monday and has just completed designing the invitations.

Her sons will present the rings. She said: "It's so strange because I'm really planning a wedding and a funeral at the same time. We were trying to chose music for the wedding but as we were listening I was thinking it might be good for my funeral and that's really strange.

"With bringing Christmas forward as well, I feel there's so much to organise and it's so crucial I get everything right."

Christmas will be at the end of November, with a tree, presents and all the trimmings. They are having an open house for all her friends and family to be together.

Sandra said: "I have to stay positive and I have to enjoy every moment I've got. The only thing in life that you can be certain about is that you're going to die.

"Although that must sound very negative, it's a fact. The difference for me is I know more or less when. It means I can prepare myself and I can say goodbye to everybody. I can tell people how important they are and how they have contributed in my life."