FOUR months after our new bath was installed the little bit of redecorating my husband needed to do to complete the bathroom is still at the "rubbing down" stage. I can't understand it. It is such a small amount of painting that if he puts his mind to it it could all have been done in 48 hours.

But now every time I suggest he does a little bit more we have a major falling out. Part of the problem is he has banned me from doing the work myself. I think I'm quite capable but he points out that I don't do nearly enough rubbing down and then I tend to slap on too much paint and make a pig's ear of the whole job.

He, on the other hand, does lots and lots of rubbing down. And then some more. So four months have passed with me moaning about his slow progress. I've even bet him £20 that it won't be finished before July.

"Loser," he said.

"Fantastic," I said. "If you win it'll be money well lost. If I win, which is likely, I'll pay someone else to do the job."

Now it turns out that, while lamenting about my nagging, my husband discovered two of his married colleagues also have bathroom redecorating sagas. One has just re-tiled around the toilet three years after starting it. Another admitted his uncompleted re-plumbing project had just passed its silver jubilee.

"So I don't know what you're

complaining about," said my

husband, triumphantly.

"Four months is nothing." Of course, now I'm sure to win my bet.

Then I realised if you mentioned the words "bathroom" and "redecorating" to anybody they'd have a tale to tell. One of my work associates said since last autumn her new bathroom suite has been propped up in the conservatory and the new tiles stacked up in her living room while she waits for her husband to contact the plumber. . . who only lives next door.

Another friend confessed he lived without a bath for four years after ripping out his old one with the intention of fitting a shower unit.

"I used to go to the gym every day and have a shower there," he added hastily. "When I finally got around to having the shower put in I thought it had only been a matter of months and was shocked to realise it was actually four years."

It seems that when it comes to redecorating no other room in the house causes so many rows between couples.

Why should this be so? If I may make a sweeping generalisation, women like the bathroom to be a place in which to relax, unwind and take a long, luxurious soak. But it's hard to imagine you're Cleopatra when you find bits of

plaster and old paint floating in your water.

Men on the other hand prefer to dash through the shower and never have time to notice the rot and decay.

Perhaps the answer for long-suffering women is to sabotage the shower unit. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.