Tory members must cringe at the antics of their leader. First there was the reversed baseball cap at Notting Hill, then the 14 pints a day man, now the anarchist truckers' mate.

Clearly William made a careful note of how environmental protester Swampy became a popular hero by digging himself deeper into the mire.

Surely their leader's next move will be to ditch the William. Edward suits the image better. H.aig, E.dward. M. P. Y. es, that's more like it. Now for the dreadlocks.

-John Tyler, West Sussex Green Party