I have noticed the homework of kids at senior school demands an increased amount of parent participation compared to when they were at junior school.

The maths Small Person does by herself, knowing it is hopeless to ask me what the common factor of any number is.

Even though I got an O-level I can't remember any of it and am now useless without my calculator.

I am seen as a handy learning aid for testing daughter on her knowledge of the Greek alphabet.

My food cupboard is raided for things she can look at under our little hand-held microscope and then she leaves her concoctions congealing on the kitchen table for the cats to taste.

I am asked to explain exactly why the tide goes up and down differently in different places and when I suggest she just believes it, I am asked to explain it in full because I'm supposed to know because I'm a grown-up.

I am not allowed to use my own computer any more as she is always Iooking things up on it.

The fact I may be trying to do some homework for my degree is regarded with derision, and it is suggested I do that later when she's asleep.

I can't sleep because I cannot find anything to wear for work as she has "borrowed" my last pair of tights and searched my clothes cupboard for things to dress up in for book day.

My best fountain pen has disappeared into her school bag along with all the essential letters from school she suddenly remembers must be answered today at 7.30am.

The last straw came the other morning when I realised I had picked up her packed lunch rather than my own and had Marmite sandwiches and a Wagon Wheel to look forward to rather than the healthy snack I had prepared for myself.

Roll on half term I say.