I often ask clients on the brink of divorce what they would miss about each other if they parted.

It certainly gets them thinking. So many things are taken for granted over the years. Even annoying habits can be missed.

Have you thought realistically about what life will be like on your own?

I appreciate fear of being alone is not the best reason for staying together but sometimes people have a distorted view of single life.

Is your relationship really beyond repair? What was it that drew you together? Are you able to appreciate each other's qualities now or have you grown to dislike them?

Have you tried talking about what has happened to get you to the point of breaking up?

Is there anything either of you can do to get your relationship back on track?

All these questions need to be answered in order to make the right choice.

You owe it to yourselves to at least try to make sense of why it has happened, if not to save this relationship then to move on to a more suitable partner or lifestyle.

Julia Meanwell is a relationship counsellor