Adjusting to life as a single person brought unexpected problems for Kathy.

Finding herself alone after the break-up of her marriage, she found it increasingly difficult to deal with her sense of loss.

Not only did she have to accept the loss of her partner, many of her friends also seemed to be disappearing.

Desperate to feel better and rid herself of her pain, Kathy went in search of a replacement partner.

She began dating a man from work. He was very charming and humorous - just what she needed.

Although she wasn't blissfully happy she was at least getting into the world again.

I met Kathy just after she split with her boyfriend.

He had ended the relationship, saying she was too intense.

The effect on Kathy was severe. It seemed to trigger some very strong emotions for her. She decided it was time to deal with these buried feelings.

Accepting the end of a relationship can take a long time.

This is a particularly vulnerable time and it is all too easy to rush into another relationship.

After several months Kathy began to feel stronger, less frantic.

Spending time on building a network of single friends was now a priority.

Julia Meanwell is a relationship counsellor. julia@meanwell.freeserve.co.uk