This week I would like to start by saying a huge thank you to those sensible chaps at the Football League.

They in their infinite wisdom who sentenced us to a seven-and-a-half-hour journey to Tranmere on the warmest, busiest Bank Holiday weekend of the year!

Not that the trip was quiet or boring. No chance of that with Charlie Oatway bouncing around the coach like a naughty schoolboy. Unfortunately there's little chance of going to sleep with him around either. Charlie has more energy than any footballer I've ever known and just won't sit still. His poor roommate, Chippy, said his batteries finally ran out at about 2am.

Charlie returned to the team with great effect against Blackpool and is quite happy to talk anyone through the Bobby Moore-like tackle that led to his goal.

Michel also has bragging rights at the moment. The goalie was in fantastic form up at Tranmere and then made a wonderful penalty save against Blackpool after my rash tackle. The goalie is what is known on the football circuit as a "big unit" and when the lads told me he used to be in the Dutch SAS I was very wary of him. Over the last few weeks though he has been the target of the pranksters in the dressing room. After training last week his kitbag was thrown into the middle of the adjoining cricket pitch. I couldn't believe the lads had taken such a liberty with him until they explained he had only been a chef for the SAS!

The camp is obviously buzzing at the moment and the lads were thrilled with the cup draw. It will be a great opportunity to pit our skills against Premiership opposition. I have wonderful memories of knocking Southampton out of both cups in the same season a few years ago and would love to be part of another giant-killing act. In fact when Fulham won at the Dell in the Worthington Cup the winner was scored by Dirk - an omen maybe?

Before that we realise we have to improve our League performances. The display at Tranmere was not good enough even though we finished with an acceptable result. They are comfortably the best side we have played so far. We also started poorly against Blackpool and only really hit our stride when Steeley came on. That said we played some great stuff in the second half and scored some Premiership standard goals. Blackpool couldn't cope with our passing and movement and poor old Steve McMahon's head turned such a shade of tomato red I thought it was going to explode.

The build up to the big Germany versus England clash started in training this week. Dirk "Porn Star" Diggler has been the obvious recipient of much good-natured banter and he took his place in the Rest of the World side that was easily beaten by the English boys. I'm not sure about the qualification rules to obtain a place in the world side but Dodge (looks like a German who fought in the first world war), Chippy (Jurgen Klinsmann) and Peth (big nose) all lined up as foreigners. The English team managed to win even though we had the gaffer on our side. Its amazing how quickly ex-pros lose their touch after they quit the game!

Dirk has been very reserved this week and wants the game to be a draw. He is enjoying life at Brighton but, like myself, has struggled to come to terms with the pace of second division football. Having spent a year with him at Fulham, I can assure you Dirk is a real character.

With his bleached blond hair, earrings, skin-tight jeans and moustache he is a dead ringer for the man in leather from Village People.

At our Christmas fancy dress party he even dressed up as him and, if the truth be told, looked a little too convincing. He is a definite victim of the fashion police.

On the end of season trip to red-hot Tenerife he insisted on wearing a full-length leather coat, even when sunbathing by the pool. With his outgoing, happy nature he might not be the archetypal German, but lets hope, for once, he's not smiling later tonight!