Someone, somewhere in Sussex, has a central piece of football history.
Now a comedy outfit aims to tackle him and make him a star player in a new show - if they can find him before kick off.
Legend has it that one loyal Brighton and Hove Albion fan dug up the centre spot of the pitch at the club's beloved Goldstone Ground before the bulldozers ripped up the hallowed turf on June 11, 1997.
The stands and terracing were torn down, ending 95 years of soccer history, and the land was sold off to build a retail park.
Scores of fans kept pieces of turf and other memorabilia but the centre spot mysteriously disappeared.
Mark Brailsford, the man behind hit comedy act The Treason Show and the acclaimed Albion centenary tribute play Brighton 'Till I Die, wants to find the fan who laid claim to the centre spot before his new show starts tonight at 8pm.
Mark is also asking Seagulls fans and others with funny, interesting or historic stories about the club to come forward and star in the show ...And Smith Must Score!
It is billed as a cabaret evening of comedy and music for Seagulls' supporters, a show by the fans for the fans.
Mark said: "This guy once came up to me after Brighton 'Till I Die and said how fantastic the show was. Then he told me he had the centre spot from the Goldstone Ground.
"It was a great story but I didn't think anything else about it at the time, so I didn't get his number and I don't remember his name.
"Apparently he planned to save it so that he could put it back when Albion move to a new stadium, to put back a bit of that Goldstone magic.
"That is what we are looking for - anyone with a story to tell about the club. It doesn't have to be the stuff of legend, any stories will do.
"The main thrust of the show is that performers like myself who have been Albion fans for years will be performing sketches, songs and stand up comedy.
"Its experimental at this stage but if it goes well we'll make it a regular thing at Komedia."
The comedians will interview people on stage to get them to talk about their experiences as an Albion fan.
Albion's commercial manager Kevin Keehan said: "If the show is anything like Brighton 'Till I Die we'll be pleased, because that was good."
He said he knew someone had the centre spot from the Goldstone Ground but did not know who.
The title of the show comes from the commentary on Gordon Smith, who will never be allowed to forget the moment he failed to score a crucial goal to win the FA Cup for Albion in 1983.
Mark Brailsford hosts ...And Smith Must Score! which stars Albion poet Attilla the Stockbroker, Steve North of Brighton 'Till I Die, Carol Kentish of the Treason Show, Steven Grant of the Krater Comedy Club and other members of the Treason Show team.
The show at Komedia in Gardener Street, Brighton, will be repeated on Monday, October 29.
To contact Mark call the box office on 01273 647100.
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