Rebecca Gray is typically severe and self-righteous in her strictures on married men (The Argus, December 26) and, sometimes, women, too.

Having a joyous affair after so many years of marriage can have many causes, boredom, wanting to explore, a need to feel wanted and loved, a need to know one is still attractive, biological reasons, and many more, none of which necessarily reflect on the other party.

I think Rebecca Gray needs to tell partners to be more tolerant of each other's exploits.

There is no harm so long as they are not set up as a breach of trust, whatever that is.

None of us owns our partner or our children for that matter. Ownership has long been relegated except among some religious die-hards and moralists.

Let each other live.

-Gemma Thwaite, Madeira Place, Brighton