Today marks the start of Foster Fortnight. Kate Matthews looks at what it's ike to be a foster carer and a foster child.
BEING taken into care at the age of 13 was a terrifying experience for Chris Nicholls.
He had to go to live in a place he had never been before with people he had never met.
He remembers the day he left his family and says: "I knew for a while I was going but I could not believe my mum could let it happen.
"I was taken to this flat. It was so terrifying because it was strange.
"I remember ringing the door bell, a lady answering and then being taken to my room. I was not thinking about where I was, I was just so numb.
"But the experiences I had had at home and the way I had been treated made me not want to run back there.
"It was a very confusing feeling. At that point I was just a normal 13-year-old boy. It was after this I started to get into trouble, getting arrested and things like that."
But Chris, now 19, is grateful someone was there to help.
He said: "If they had not helped, I would have been on the streets."
He values the efforts most foster carers make and recognises they have to be prepared for a lot.
He said: "Being moved around and not knowing what is going on is hard. You have no grasp or understanding of your own life.
"A foster carer has to be prepared for this. They have to be ready to be up all hours of the night and receive verbal abuse.
"A lot of times their homes are wrecked. The kids aren't trying to be nasty, they are just so angry because of what they have been through."
Chris lived in 12 different foster carers' homes. His shortest stay in one place was one night, the longest a year and a half.
He said: "Some of the carers I had were brilliant.
"Brilliant is someone who is interesting in helping you to go further, to go to school and get an education. Someone who offers a homely and loving environment to stay in.
"These are the ones who are always there for you.
"I still keep in contact with some of my carers. The couple I lived with in supported lodgings treated me as their own."
Supported lodgings follows on from traditional foster caring.
Young people aged 16 or over are offered a bedroom and a supportive environment to help them make their transition to adulthood.
Chris said: "You do most things yourself such as cook, clean and you learn to budget. The carers are still there if you need them but it is different from fostering, where the parent does everything for you."
Chris still craves a family life. He said: "I still yearn for one and get jealous when I see families walk past me but there is nothing I can do about it. I am just thankful I had foster carers.
"A lot of kids have it really hard and need a shoulder to cry on. All they want is a supportive, caring and loving home to be welcomed into with open arms."
EMMA Darby did not think she had a hope of becoming a foster carer.
But when the single mum, with two dogs and a cat, contacted Brighton and Hove City Council's fostering team and started the approval process she realised she could not be more wrong.
She has now been fostering for four months and could not be happier.
Emma said: "I think it is a fun thing to do. Every day is different. Every foster child and experience are different and there is not one formula."
Emma's first children arrived four days after she found out she had been approved.
She recalls: "It was two brothers, aged two and four, and they stayed for six days. 24 hours later James (whose name has been changed) came. I did not expect it to be so quick.
"When he arrived he was still in nappies, had trouble walking and there were problems with his eyes.
"But he is making lots of progress now. He does some things that are hard to deal with but they are few and far between.
"Basically he is like a little sponge. He just wants to learn.
"I am not his mummy but I do the mummy things. I suppose I feel like a MOT centre for children. They come in to have certain things fixed but they do not belong to you."
There were a variety of reasons behind Emma's decision to become a foster parent.
She said: "I used to know a little girl who was in a children's home and I didn't think it was the best thing for her.
"I also thought my own daughter might be missing out by not having brothers and sisters and other children around at home.
"At first I thought I would adopt, then thought fostering was the better option. With fostering you help more than one person.
"People have asked me how I will cope letting the children go but I look at it from a different angle. I am not their mummy, it is about what the children need and helping them.
"I would also have to do a full-time job and have a childminder for my daughter if I did not do this.
"This way I can be there for my daughter and help others as well.
"But it's not easy. It is not a job in the sense that you can do it and then switch off. It is 24-hour care and very challenging and emotional."
To mark Fostering Fortnight, an information evening is being held at Church House, 211 New Church Road, Hove, on Wednesday, July 10 from 6.30pm to 8.30pm Foster carers and social work staff will be on hand to give advice. Experts from specialist areas will also be there, including representatives of supported lodgings for young people leaving care and Rails, the remand and intensive lodgings scheme.
For more details about the event, or fostering in general, call 01273 295444.
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