Losing a baby to cot death is an unimaginable tragedy. Brenda Owen reports on a support group helping parents come to terms with their oredal.

IT IS 17 years since baby Steven died.

The five-month-old's mother Janice Walshe was Christmas shopping with Steven and his elder sister when he stopped breathing.

Five hours later, at his hospital bedside, Janice agreed to allow his life support machine to be switched off.

Looking back, she said: "You try to make sense of it. But you can't, because there is no sense to be made of it."

In the intervening years, while never forgetting Steven's memory, she has battled to turn her grief and loss into something positive.

On Saturday, 50 other families who have lost children will get together as guests of the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths at a family day at Tilgate Park, Crawley.

Janice, of Merryfield Drive, Horsham, has been involved with the foundation for more than 10 years.

She raises money for the charity and has now become a 'befriender' to families who are suffering the same pain she and husband Lee went through.

Janice has helped five families who have lost babies by listening to them talk about their grief.

She said: "I decided to make something positive come out of it by befriending and raising money for the Foundation.

"Parents who have lost a child just want to talk about their loss and there are not many people who can cope with listening. There is nothing worse than losing a child.

"It helps just to have someone there who is not going to criticise, judge or give advice, just listen."

Janice, a secretary at St John's RC Primary School, Horsham, said she was not a counsellor and her role was purely befriending.

Steven first stopped breathing in his cot when he was three months old.

Janice, who is trained in first aid, resuscitated him.

He was put on monitoring equipment which sounded an alarm when breathing stops.

Two months later what started off as a routine day ended in a nightmare. Steven's alarm sounded in Tesco in Horsham and he turned blue.

Attempts to get him breathing again failed and he was taken to Crawley Hospital.

It was here the family finally agreed he should be taken off a ventilator, the only thing keeping him alive.

In the aftermath of Steven's death Janice also became involved with the former charity A Monitor for a Baby's Life (AMBLE) which raised money for monitors registering oxygen levels for babies at risk.

She said: "A cot death is one of the most devastating things anyone has to go through. You do get through it eventually, but you need the support of your family and friends."

Organiser Eleanor Ennis said the families, from Sussex, Surrey and Kent, will learn more about the work of the charity.

They will be given a talk after which their children will be able to handle the animals in the nature centre before having a picnic in the park.