Spot the ball

My letter was simply one of geography but he is certainly so rattled that he loses any grasp of logic, metaphor, language, football rules and local politics.

He asserts I am a "regular fixture" at meetings of Brighton and Hove City Council.

One is either a fixture or not and, even if I were, that is a democratic entitlement rather than sneerworthy. Does Mr Turton, a candidate, attend such (often highly-entertaining) meetings to learn what is going on?

I do not know where he gets the idea that councillors' home addresses form part of such meetings, especially as only the Labour rebels now print theirs in council records.

Most councillors are, however, at least adjacent to their wards but Mr Turton hopes to be as far from his as possible.

How often would he be spending an hour each way on the bus to Whitehawk from Portslade? It is only by strolling in one's neighbourhood and going into small shops that one meets people and hears - and relays - a great deal.

Why doesn't Mr Turton choose to do so in Portslade and give East Brighton to those who know the turf?

Lo and behold, he trots out the phrase "professional whingers". Could he tell me who is paying me - and many others - for taking an interest in our community?

It could buy some more wine for gatherings at a house which, suffused with reading, music, food and talk, is redolent of taking a joy in life.

Evidently, Mr Turton has no desire to be of the company.

As for his enthusiastic invitation to come off the touchline, that is certainly very interesting. People have said, without prompting, "We'd vote for you".

Then again, as I am sure Lord Bassam will tell him, at football matches there are non-players on the touchline who raise a flag to alert the referee that something is amiss.

But to Mr Turton vigilance is mere whinging. As such, his sneer at Hove is misjudged. It is set to be the liveliest spot in a lively election. Mr Turton's eyes are off the ball.

-Christopher Hawtree, Westbourne Gardens, Hove