A wry look at Worthing

It was an interesting experience standing in the middle of the road for the ceremonial tape-cutting, which would have been a suicidal step about 15 minutes later, when the first traffic appeared on the northern horizon.

About 50 residents stood on the bridge that links High Street, Angmering, to the footpaths leading to Highdown Hill.

It was very sad to witness the destruction of High Street, once a charming country lane, but the road-builders have planted hundreds of trees along the 2.3km bypass.

Incidentally, the floor of the bridge is springy and has been painted green to ensure the smooth and safe passage of horses and their riders.

About 50 villagers, including a smattering of children on half-term holiday, stood on the bridge to watch various civic dignitaries assemble for the traditional speech.

For the record, the first vehicle along the bypass (with the exception of a police car) was a white transit van, with two builders grinning from ear to ear. It was followed by a Smart car, which was greeted with waves and cheers from bystanders who had now retreated to the grass verge.

Some of those present wondered whether the bypass might turn out to be a white elephant, pointing to the fact that drivers living in Bramley Green, a giant new housing estate in Angmering, would still have to travel along Roundstone Lane or back through the centre of the village to gain access to the bypass. As ever, only time will tell.

But the road has certainly opened up interesting views of Highdown Hill, Ecclesden Manor, Angmering windmill and the pitches of Worthing Rugby Club and one wonders how long it will be before the first kick into touch ends up on the southbound carriageway.

During a recent amble along South Farm Road, Sentinel's attention was diverted by an A-board outside Michael's Cycles, near the level-crossing.

On it somebody had chalked ten commandments for pedallers, including: Thou shalt hold no other races above the Tour De France; Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain every time thou gettest a flat tyre; Remember to oil thy chain to keep it rolling; Thou shalt not steal bicycles and Thou shalt not ignore other road users, nor cycle recklessly on the pavement.

It was an amusing episode, almost matched by the sight of two wheelbarrows chained to a tree outside Worthing Museum's sculpture garden in Richmond Road.

Driving along Mill Road, Sentinel peered into a back garden near the junction with West Avenue and noted what looked like a rather splendid weather station.

But he stands to be corrected because it was only a fleeting glimpse.

Talking of quick glances, Sentinel is sure he saw a lorry laden with bags of coal driving along Brighton Road but had to rub his eyes because it is such a rare sight nowadays.

Sentinel is delighted to record that Flemings burger bar, forming the gateway to Teville Gate, is now boarded up, suggesting that redevelopment of Worthing's biggest eyesore may soon follow.

Residents of Capelia House in West Parade may be interested to learn there is a US warship steaming towards the Gulf which is called the Capella.

Sentinel noted that Upper Northbrook Farmhouse, dating from circa 1852, is having an extension built in preparation for its transformation into a pub-restaurant.

The farmhouse was once as remote as a croft on the Shetland Islands but the relentless tide of red bricks and mortar is now lapping at its doorstep.

Sentinel fully supports the Cleaner and Safer Worthing initiative championed by the Liberal Democrat rulers of Worthing Borough Council but action must follow fine words.

An impressive start has been made on graffiti but what about the Aquarena boating pool, which has a bicycle and even a wooden window frame in the water, or the neighbouring paddling pool, where the water has turned into a foul green soup?

And what about Montague Place, where litter scars the bushes on the eastern side, or Goring Gap, which resembles the fringes of a corporation tip?

It has taken a while to sink in (at least a decade in fact) but Worthing police are finally heeding public opinion and going back to the basics, which involve high-profile patrols and a truly local CID department.

There can be few more damning indictments of recent policing failures than the one issued by Sussex Police, which speaks of "re-engaging with the areas that officers serve, restoring confidence and increasing visibility in neighbourhoods."

Question is, what took them so long to get the message from taxpayers?

It should be a bumper year for apples (and cider for that matter) after an ancient wassailing ceremony in Tarring, which involves talking to a tree, Prince Charles-style.

Sompting Village Morris Men walked down High Street, went into the garden of the Old Castle (formerly a pub but now a private home) and took it upon themselves to chant the following lines at an apple tree:

Here stands a jolly good old apple tree, Stand fast root; bear well top.

Every little bough, bear an apple now, Every little twig, bear an apple big.

Hats full, caps full, three-quarter sacks full.

According to Sentinel's apple source, the ceremony involved the firing of a shotgun and other assorted loud noises which might have awakened the dead.

The purpose was to assure the fertility of the trees over the coming year, thus ensuring a plentiful supply of cider.

Apple cake and mulled wine was then handed around before the assembled throng retired to The Vine, where the whole ceremony was repeated, no doubt in slightly more drunken fashion.

Offerings of toast were placed in the tree to feed the good gods of arboreal development and fruitfulness. Following this, the Wassailing Cup was passed around and the traditional partaking of Summer Lightning (a mind-bending substance) then commenced.

It is a good job they weren't hoping for a bumper fig crop because most of the fig trees that once made Tarring famous nationwide have been chopped down, courtesy of the borough council.

While on the subject of fruit, next time you are in Muldoon's cafe, Warwick Street, take a look at the orange-pressing machine, called a Zume, which is a masterpiece of invention.

Incidentally, Chanctonbury Ring Morris Men, the only all-male clog morris team in Sussex, is looking for new members, who can book a free trial and a well-earned pint by ringing John Harriyott on 01825 790741.

The Reverend Edward Jervis, of St Andrew's Church in Tarring, was quite a trendsetter when he used to go around in a white Ford Escort with the number- plate Rev 1.

That was long before personalised plates became highly fashionable but a number of residents have followed suit, including a Worthing baker's wife with the registration Dough and a local woman who won a million pounds in a radio quiz who opted for M1.

Sentinel noted the scaffolding wraps have come off St Paul's Church in Chapel Road, revealing a very smart exterior that bodes well for the interior, which is being turned into a community centre at great expense.

But it is unlikely to cut any ice among the Worthing Society conservation group, which recently stated: "The projected use of central Worthing's most historic building is considered most unfortunate.

"Your chairman recently had the opportunity to visit the redundant church of St Mary-in-the-Castle at Hastings (1828), which has been wonderfully refurbished as a successful concert and arts centre for the benefit of local residents and visitors.

"What a chance has been missed by Worthing to use St Paul's in a similar fashion to enrich the social life of this town."

The society also had a few things to say about the loss of the Litten Tree (formerly the Wine Lodge): "Another setback for the concept of conservation in Worthing - and another 'character building' lost. The question arises: What protection is really guaranteed to a building in a Conservation Area in Worthing?"

To be fair to town planners, they are basking in a number of recent success stories, the latest being Amelia Crescent, behind Park Crescent, where 11 quality three-bedroom town houses with Georgian-style pillars are taking shape that will cost £249,000 each.

Builders are also putting the finishing touches to one of the finest houses constructed in Worthing recently, a six-bedroom pad with landscaped gardens overlooking Worthing Golf Course, which is a snip at £650,000.

But we still have some way to go before architects reach the heady heights of yesteryear when even an electricity sub-station in Offington Drive bore Worthing's famous mackerel crest.

Talking of splendid structures, councillors will soon consider plans to turn £850,000 Westerfields in Richmond Road into a day nursery.