Duck tape ... I could swear that's what my friend, who knows how much I worry, said when he phoned me at the weekend.
I can hear him now: "Get yourself some duck tape, if the worst happens - you'll need it to seal your windows."
"Thanks for the advice," I said. "I suppose you're feeling bored and thought you'd amuse yourself by winding me up."
"Not at all," he said, sounding indignant. "Don't you read the papers? They say people shouldn't panic but it would be sensible to stock up on some tinned food and a few bottles of water, just in case."
"In case of what?" I asked, knowing full well, as any worrier would, what he was getting at.
"You know as well as I do what I mean," he said. "These are precautions in case of a terrorist attack. I suppose you know where to turn off your water supply?"
"Easy peasy," I replied. "There's a tap in the bathroom."
Realising his attempts to alarm me were failing miserably, he rang off, probably to trawl through his address book in search of another target with a nervous disposition.
I went into the kitchen and took stock. Later that afternoon I went down to the local hardware store which sells everything from plastic clothes pegs and ironing board covers to screwdrivers and drill bits.
"Have you got any rolls of duck tape?" I asked the man behind the counter.
"Afraid not," he said. "But I may have some duct tape - unless it's all been sold by now. Been quite a rush on duct tape this week." His mouth twitched.
I found two rolls in a box at the back of the shop. 'Seals air leaks, windows, doors ... also repairs books and carpets', it said on the label. I put both rolls on the counter.
"I'm mending a few hardbacks," I said guiltily, though no explanation was asked for or needed.
"Interesting," said the man. "There seems to be a lot of that about right now."
Next on my list was the local Co-op. I popped two yoghurts and a packet of cream crackers into my basket and then, purely out of curiosity, strolled over to the soft drinks section.
There were cartons of orange juice, cans of Coke and bottles of fizzy lemon. Where the bottled water usually stands was a gaping space.
When no one was looking I bent down for a closer inspection, to see if there might be a bottle standing unclaimed somewhere at the back.
Just one remained, the sparkling sort. Not ideal for making a cuppa but never mind, it would do.
Glancing round I noticed a much-diminished supply of toilet paper on the shelves, so I grabbed two rolls of that as well.
Back home I watched The Mother pottering about in the garden and remembered some playground chatter from long ago.
We youngsters were fond of asking each other what our respective parents had done during the then not so distant 1939-45 War.
My mum had been a WAAF and my stepfather had been in the Royal Navy. Wonder what I would have done? I thought.
"You?" said a voice inside my head which sounded very much like The Mother. You would have been in some shop, stocking up on bottled water and toilet paper."
"Don't forget the duct tape," I murmured.
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