"I'm just nipping along to Asda," I told him indoors.

"I'll come, Mum," volunteered daughter leaping up from the sofa. "After all, you might need some help carrying stuff."

This offer naturally made me highly suspicious. The last time daughter offered to help with the shopping she was after a new pair of jeans. I was proved right seconds later as we strolled to the marina.

"Er, Mum, can I have a party?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "What for, anyway?"

"To celebrate the fact the end of term exams are over."

"In my day you didn't have a party, you just went home glad that there was no homework for a week or two," I said. "Anyway the answer is definitely no."

"But why not?"

"Well, first of all our house is not big enough for a teenage party. Secondly I can't afford one and thirdly the answer is no," I said.

"But I've got to have one," said daughter plaintively. "None of my friends' parents will let them have it at theirs."

"Exactly which part of 'no' are you having problems understanding?" I said.

"Well, can I have some friends over for a sleepover?"

"How many?" I asked. "About ten."

"No' I said. "That is not a sleepover, that is a party disguised as a sleepover plus the guests don't even go home so you will all shriek a lot and run up and down the stairs all evening, upset the dog and your father. The answer is still no."

"Why can't one of your friends have a sleepover."

"Because their parents have all said no." she said.

"Sensible people. I'm saying no too," I told her.

"Well can some friends come over on Saturday afternoon?"

"How many friends?"

"About ten."

"No, because about twenty will turn up and that will be a party."

"About eight?"

"No."

"About six?"

"No."

"Four?"

"Why don't you all just meet in town and go for a pizza?" I said.

"Because I haven't got any money and I still owe you £14.97."

"Okay," I gave in. "You can have two friends over on Saturday, they can stay the night and I will pay for a takeaway pizza."

"Couldn't I have three friends?"

"NO!" I said.

Luckily we had arrived at Asda by then so daughter went off to look at the CDs while I did the shopping, although I did make her help carry it home.