A wry look at Worthing

Hanging baskets and signs have been installed but there is no sign yet of the ornate archway planned for the junction of Montague Street and Crescent Road.

Sentinel also noted automatic doors now dominate the South Place entrance to the Guildbourne Centre but workmen still have a huge way to go before the revamp of the much-maligned shopping complex is complete.

Through necessity, Sentinel had to become in his deep and distant past an exponent of the art of shorthand, which fascinates people door-stepped by yours truly.

On a visit to the Islamic Cultural Centre in Ivy Arch Road, one worshipper at Friday prayers remarked: "It looks just like Arabic."

So Sentinel was fascinated to learn that in 1886, none other than a Joseph Pitman, of Sandown, Worthing, held a shorthand competition in the town, attracting more than 1,200 entrants.

Sentinel wonders whether it is the same Pitman who gave his name to the most popular form of shorthand in use today?

Perhaps readers can help.

There is many a slip between cup and lip and this proved to be the case last Wednesday when Sentinel almost crashed the car laughing when a hapless Splash FM disc jockey accidentally referred to a talk by Hilaire Bolloc in a tongue-tied moment he would sooner rather forget.

Driving along the seafront on Saturday morning, Sentinel spotted a small camera crew on the beach opposite Marine Gardens - photographing a sink.

Either they were from an ultra-trendy interior design magazine, or students just messing about.

Sentinel visited Ferring Primary School's summer fair later that afternoon and was delighted to note that it still had extensive school grounds, unlike many other educational establishments in the area, which were forced to sell off playing fields to make a quick buck for West Sussex County Council.

Sentinel hears that Friday night at The Church bar in High Street has become the place to be seen by trendy young ladies who have taken to dressing in skimpy school uniforms.

With temperatures going through the roof, the reveller-filled town centre on some nights has resembled the main drag on Corfu or Crete, complete with "flyerers" - girls in black T-shirts and baseball caps handing out cards trying to attract punters to this nightclub or that.

That's fine, apart from the fact the following morning Chapel Road looks like a dustcart has overturned there.

Walking past the Pavilion Theatre, Sentinel spotted a sign stating Rip 'Em Off, which he is reliably informed refers to the name of the show rather than the policy of the theatre.

His attention was then diverted by a notice in Molloys kiosk advertising fudge all the way from the Orkney Islands - but the question is why?

Sentinel is informed Ju-Ju's coconut kiosk, east of Splash Point, has changed hands and the once famous palm trees with toy monkeys have gone.

How much does fitting a shopfront cost?

Sentinel poses the question after noting the facade of Balfour Convenience Store in Rowlands Road, on the site of the Carioca nightclub, was removed before the unit had even opened because Balfour sold the shop on to the Co-op, which is now putting up its own livery.

Sentinel last week overheard a twentysomething girl parading on the promenade say to a companion: "Worthing is so much nicer than Brighton."

Sentinel is a regular visitor to certain playgrounds around the town, courtesy of a three-year-old sapling, and it never ceases to amaze him how many children of her age are blonde or at least fair-haired.

It must surely be something in our chalky water.

Sentinel was accosted in Worthing Town Hall recently by a man rather agitated by the fact people couldn't get a decent cup of tea in Worthing after 6pm.

A fair point, although the Caffe Nero in South Street now has early evening opening hours, prompting Costa in Montague Place to open until 9pm.

Talking of South Street, the pavements, especially on the west side, are in an unbelievably filthy, greasy condition and could do with a thorough scrub down.

*Wandering on the prom last week, people were plagued by untold millions of flying ants, activated by the mini-heatwave, but many of the tiny insects became trapped in the shallow pools and rivulets on the sands and died almost immediately.

Many promenaders were puzzled by a bizarre optical illusion which created a double horizon out at sea.

Some thought it might be France, others a Channel mist, but it certainly prompted animated conversation among sunseekers on the shingle.

While on the subject of the recent heatwave, Sentinel has recently attended a number of outside mayoral functions when James Doyle has had to swelter in a lounge suit and he firmly believes that once the thermometer rises above, let us say 20C, our leading civic figure should be allowed to wear shorts and a T-shirt.

To enforce the point, Mr Doyle had to prance around the promenade in front of the Lido with morris dancers on Saturday and must have been absolutely shattered.

The MV Balmoral made its second visit of the season to Worthing last week, on a very high tide, which meant the gangway from the landing stage was at such a steep angle people found it rather difficult to board the ship.

The Liberal Democrats must be commended on their Clean and Safe Worthing campaign but can they do nothing about the mounds of rubbish in the bushes outside Safeway in Lyndhurst Road?

Further to recent musings about chalk being washed up on the beach after being dislodged from the seabed, Sentinel learns there is an underwater feature off the town called Worthing Lumps.

He is not quite sure what the lumps are, and will refrain from suggesting some might have ended up in the civic corridors of power.

Spirit FM is obviously not taking too kindly to the appearance of arch-rivals Splash FM on the airwaves, judging by an advertisement which describes Spirit as the commercial radio station for Chichester, Bognor, Arundel, Littlehampton AND West Worthing.

Talking of Splash, presenter Dave Benson Phillips is a top man, a top children's TV presenter and has a top web site - www.davebensonphillips.co.uk
On A recent visit to the Dome, Sentinel glanced into an annexe off the main foyer and saw a huge aerial photograph of Worthing adorning the wall.

Judging by the few cars parked along the seafront, it must have been taken in the Thirties or Forties, when there were two tennis courts at the southern end of Steyne Gardens, where the sunken garden is today.

Browsing through council balance sheets, Sentinel noted Worthing taxpayers forked out no less than £77,815 last year for the upkeep of Shoreham airport.

Surely it is time the council severed its links with what is, by and large, a private flying club and put the money to better use in the town itself.

It is only a matter of time before the vacant seafront plot near Worthing Yacht Club in Goring is redeveloped and we can only hope it is put to a maritime-related leisure use rather than housing, which would be an abject waste of one of the last golden opportunities in the borough.

Sentinel was happy to receive an email from Sue Murray, who ran the St Alban's guest house in Brighton Road, and was a driving force behind the much-acclaimed seafront improvements.

Sue and her husband Doug have moved to Spain and are now living in the Costa del Sol region with a view to setting up a rural B&B inland.

She writes: "Where we are renting is absolutely beautiful, surrounded by mountains and countryside on the edge of a typical Andalucian village, with white cottages, narrow zigzag roads on a hillside and very tranquil apart from the odd Vespa buzzing round the roads/tracks."

Sue concludes: "We think we will adapt easily into their culture, helped by the fact we have lived in Kenya and had to learn to be very patient when dealing with 'things' as there was no such thing as a sense of urgency."