When a village football team advertised for new players in its local parish magazine, the editor mischievously added a few choice words of her own.
The cheeky coda struck home with regular readers - and has caused a storm in the pretty village where the only usual disturbance is the chiming of the bells from St Augustine's Church.
The off-pitch war of words began with a short article in the August edition of the Scaynes Hill Parish Magazine.
It stated: "Did you know that Scaynes Hill has four teams? They meet in the recreation ground on Tuesdays at 7pm. If you would like to come and have a chat with any of the players, they are a good bunch and very friendly."
Underneath, editor Yvonne McCulloch added: "A working knowledge of the appropriate swear words would be an advantage but, in any case, full training will be given. (Anybody living within 'spitting' distance of the field will know what I mean.)"
Within days she received a string of letters and even a poem agreeing with her sentiments about indecent language filling the air on match days.
Pat Barnett wrote: "The article in last month's magazine said they are a good bunch - I will give them that.
"When they come to get the ball/balls that have been kicked into my garden they are polite and take with good humour my remarks about the shouting, swearing and inaccuracy of the kicks.
"The comments made by the editor made me chuckle because I have wondered if proficiency in profanity is a prerequisite for being a team member."
Then there was the anonymous verse:
"The football team is on the pitch; Spectators stand and cheer. The striker scores, they punch the air. How happy on the ear. The visitors move up a gear; And tackle hard and true. They equalise - the ref's gone blind; And now the air is blue."
The club was unwilling to speak to The Argus about the row.
But it was clearly unhappy about Mrs McCulloch's editorial intervention.
In the latest edition of what has become an indispensable read, a clarification has been published, at the club's request: "We would like to point out that the comments made in last month's parish magazine about the football club . . . were purely the personal feelings of the editor."
Some neighbours in the Costells Edge cul-de-sac, which backs on to the recreation ground in Scaynes Hill, also asked for their anonymity to be preserved.
One said: "Swearing is something you find everywhere but it's so loud on the football pitch I can understand people getting upset about it, especially if they have young children."
Dianne Elliott said: "If they put a bit more energy into their game instead of into the swearing, they might play better."
The Reverend Graham Mitchell, vicar of Scaynes Hill, refused to comment. Mrs McCulloch also refused to comment.
Meanwhile, some players seem to have scored an own goal through their behaviour.
Peta Smith, landlady of The Farmers pub, said she had banned all four teams following a rowdy drinking session three years ago.
Peta, who runs the only pub in the village, said: "I don't like swearing in my pub and if people swear in here I ask them to stop.
"I go out of my way to keep the pub clean and like my clients to come in with clean boots, clean hands and clean language."
Jerry Jeremiah, secretary and spokesman for Scaynes Hill FC, refused to comment.
Lawrie Parsons, general secretary of the Mid Sussex Football League, said there had only been two incidents of complaints about swearing at games in the league in the past two years.
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