Worthing has been voted Britain's worst place to grow up in - with Bognor and Eastbourne in second and third place.
With just five nightclubs and two cinemas but 15 undertakers and 50 old people's homes, the town known as God's Waiting Room easily topped the poll.
Bognor and Eastbourne both had more care homes than pubs.
Between them, the three seaside towns boast 12 clubs, five cinemas and 132 rest homes.
Worthing won the title of Worst Towns To Be Young In, beating Lowestoft in Suffolk and Weston-Super-Mare in Somerset.
Mayor James Doyle, who has lived in the town for 16 years, said: "Things are changing.
"Worthing has historically neglected young people and has had a reputation as a town with a lot of elderly people but it is not a boring place.
"We want youngsters to tell us what they want and we'll do our best to implement this."
The survey was commissioned by drinks firm After Shock.
It compared towns across the country on criteria "to determine the levels of boredom and despair they induce in young adults".
These included the number of pubs, clubs, cinemas and sports venues in a town versus its undertakers, OAP homes and bingo halls.
After Shock said it planned to urge Worthing Council to erect hazard signs on roads into the town, alerting young people to the boredom they faced.
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