Community Support Officer. What a mouthful to be printed on the back of a brand new fluorescent coat but translated by a lot of people on the streets of Brighton and Hove as Plastic Policeman or hobby bobbies.

It is not bad money though, £17K a year plus pension.

Duties include removing ladies-of-the-night calling cards from phone-boxes, doubling up as traffic wardens, informing people that they dropped a sweet wrapper - this is heavy stuff.

And let us not forget the "Excuse me, sir, did you know this is an alcohol free zone, could I ask you to drink up, it's now last orders." Oops, sorry, I thought I was behind the bar.

To which he replies, in a drunken slur: "Doo... what... go on arrest me, you can't, you're not a proper policeman, you have no power of arrest."

To which the reply comes back faster then a ferret up a drain pipe, "but I know a man who can."

Why is the city council spending taxpayers' money on these wannabe policemen and women who are one step up from traffic wardens?

If you really crave power and want to walk down the street with the John Wayne swagger, join up, do your full training and become a real police officer.

Evening all.

-Paul-John Harris, Newhaven