Why Miss England finalist hated her face

The pretty teenager would hide in shame because she was convinced she was ugly.

Her family tried to boost Racheal's confidence but she became more and more depressed, to the point of attempting suicide.

Her crushing insecurity left her desperate for plastic surgery and led her into solvent abuse.

She would spend days in her bedroom, only venturing out after dark and then only rarely.

Clubs were the only place she would go because she felt people would not be able to see her in the dim lighting.

She only went to school about once a month because she could not bear for other people to look at her.

Now 23, the confident Racheal of today has come a long way from that disturbed teenager.

She has long chestnut hair, bright blue eyes, a loving boyfriend and a good job.

She has also beaten her demons by taking part in a beauty competition in her home town of Crawley - and winning it.

As Miss Crawley, she automatically became a finalist in this year's Miss England competition. Victory there could lead to an appearance in Miss World.

The changing point in Racheal's life came when her condition was given a name - body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), also nicknamed imagined ugliness syndrome.

Experts say the condition is becoming more and more common among both sexes.

Racheal had a privileged upbringing in Crawley and loving parents. She had her own ponies and was sometimes a bit of a tomboy.

However, when she was 13, her best friend died in an accident and Racheal was devastated.

She said: "I think I always had a tendency to be a little obsessive. I used to have certain rituals and needed to make sure everything was just so.

"Then I started to concentrate on my face and my appearance. I hated everything about it and wanted to change everything.

"Nothing ever satisfied me. It wasn't that I wanted to look like anyone else. I just didn't want to look like me.

"To me this seemed a normal way to live. I used to cake myself in make-up to cover my appearance and take ages with my hair.

"I would forever be looking in mirrors and hating what I saw. I'd become obsessed, although I did not know it."

Even the simple matter of getting up and going to school, St Wilfrid's in Crawley, was a huge ritual for Racheal.

She said: "It could sometimes take me up to five hours to get ready just to go to school. I'd spend hours in my bedroom.

"I have no idea what I was doing but it seemed very important to get it right at the time."

In the end Racheal had to leave school because she could not cope with being around other people all the time.

On one occasion, she sat in a classroom with a scarf wrapped around her head so nobody would see her face.

She said: "The school was okay, although I'm sure other pupils and teachers thought I was pretty odd.

"It was out of school there were problems. I was badly bullied by a couple of gangs who used to get at me every time I went out, which affected my confidence even more."

Every time she went out she would be looking in mirrors and became increasingly paranoid.

She said: "I couldn't help it but people just thought I was vain and I was constantly bullied.

"I was miserable for years."

Racheal became more and more reclusive and even took two overdoses to try to escape the behaviour dominating every waking hour.

Her mother Jenny tried to find ways to help her and set about looking for other people who were going through the same thing.

A doctor in the United States finally diagnosed BDD.

Once Racheal knew what was wrong, she had the chance to get better and worked to change her life completely.

She forced herself to confront her condition, deliberately taking a job as a receptionist where she knew people would be looking at her all the time.

She worked the early shift, which made it impossible to spend her usual time getting ready in the mornings.

She would go to work with very little, if any, make-up.

As the years passed and her confidence grew, Racheal got herself a job in sales.

She said: "I really chucked myself into the deep end. It was very hard at times.

"Home had always been the safe haven and work was a fear to be faced.

"I had to not let things get to me."

Racheal has now been in a steady relationship for five years and considers herself cured thanks to the help and support from her boyfriend, mum Jenny, who works as an insurance adviser, and her father Tony, an interior designer.

It was Jenny, who also lives in Crawley, who entered her daughter into the competition.

She said: "She has been so strong and so brave and has managed to turn her life around. I am so proud of her."

Racheal said: "It was hard at first but I was determined to fight the BDD and gradually I got better.

"Eventually I realised my boyfriend loved me for who I was, not how I looked.

"Before I used to wear false eyelashes and false nails, trying to hide myself. Now I go to work without any make-up on and I feel much better."

Racheal hopes her story will inspire others who have had similar mental health problems to beat them.

She said: "When I look back on myself as a teenager it is as if she is another person. Now I am happy, confident and determined to show other sufferers they can live a happy and fulfilled life.

"I can't believe I wanted plastic surgery and I am so glad I did not go through with it.

"Being in the Miss England finals is a bonus but the most important thing is that I have my life back.

"There are three reasons why I am doing this and the first is to prove to myself I have recovered.

"The second is I think I am up to any criticism I may get and I am strong enough to cope. Before, any comments would have made me even more obsessive. I can ignore them now and just get on with things.

"The third and most important is I want to be an inspiration for young people who get picked on.

"I want them to see they can get past their problems and achieve whatever it is they want to do."

The Miss England final takes place in Bournemouth on July 18.

For more details, go to www.missengland