There are now 25 countries in the European Union speaking about 20 languages.

The French are objecting to Chris Patten as the next president of the union because his French is not good enough to carry on a detailed conversation with President Chirac.

Germany, Italy and Spain have said nothing, knowing the president cannot speak 20 different languages, but France insists he speaks French.

The problem is the French have never forgiven us for liberating them in the last war or for Wellington's 1815 defeat of Napoleon at Waterloo.

-VJ Harman, Hove