How to be a sexpert

But most of us are unaware of just how much of it there is to buy - in the form of sex aids, contraception, pornography, therapy and reams of serious academic research.

More than 700 delegates with interests and jobs in the sex industry, from health workers and relationship counsellors to drug retailers and sex toy manufacturers, took part in a conference in Brighton last week to talk about sex and nothing else.

I arrived at the European Federation Of Sexology 2004 with fairly low expectations of how much fun the day would turn out to be.

For a start, the venue was the Brighton Centre, a building about as likely to inspire the libido as a jog in the pouring rain.

Second, it seemed apparent from the programme for the five-day event it would be about the geeky, techie end of sex.

The itinerary included such high-falluting speeches as Sexual Health Work For Young People, Building Self-esteem And Developing Emotional Resourcefulness - Working With A Holistic Model And Intel Inside: Exploring The Innovative Predilections Of Master R.

The British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy, which organised the event, had also lined up such amusing discussions as Posthumous Sperm Storage - Something For A Rainy Day and Sexual Intimacy And The Overactive Bladder.

As I took myself to the opening address, I wondered what kind of people would be willing to travel the length of the country to talk about sex for five days.

The entrance fee, at £299, was perhaps mildly cheaper than an adult chat line but nevertheless prohibitive.

My answer came as I began to browse the many trade stalls which delegates were visiting between their discussions, speeches and workshops.

A large room on the first floor of the centre had been dedicated to pitches occupied by all kinds of businesses, from huge multinationals like Pfizer, which makes Viagra, to one-man stalls selling ... well ... dirty books and videos.

Among all the sex toys, porn and free pens and mugs, what caught my eye was a Salvation Army stall. What was the Sally Army doing at a sex conference?

A kindly-looking man called Major Jorgen Booth, the bespectacled epitome of mild-mannered humility, explained.

He said: "The Salvation Army is to do with people and human sexuality is at the heart of people's lives and needs. We give counselling and psychosexual therapy.

"We only go to conferences that are serious, professional and are involved with information and a service that is high standard.

"This is an international conference with some of the finest speakers in the world and that is why the Salvation Army is involved."

The major's particular involvement, it seemed, was to dole out advice. He was the conference's resident agony uncle and apparently quite popular.

He said: "Some people are very shy, particularly males. The English male knows how to drink and he knows how to shag but sometimes he doesn't know how to talk about deeper levels of human sexuality.

"They always say they have a friend or they know someone who has a problem and eventually they tell you, 'No, actually, it's me'.

"Woman are more direct. They are not afraid of sexuality.

"Somebody was talking to me about his Gary Cooper and I thought what on earth is his Gary Cooper? Eventually I had to admit I was a bit lost and I asked him if it was some kind of fetish, some fantasy.

"He said, 'No, it's my thingy.' Even at that point he couldn't say what it was - it was his genital organ."

We parted company and I was trying to come to terms with the fact a Salvation Army volunteer had just used the words "shag" and "organ" outside the context of churches and deep pile carpets when I bumped into one such sexually-liberated woman.

New York ex-pat Suzanne Noble was showing anyone who would watch her How To Be A Sexpert video.

The film was aimed at women aged between 20 and 40 but from the crowd gathered around the small television I could tell it would have equal appeal among businessmen, vicars and ... er, journalists.

I elbowed my way to the front and watched what can only be described as a couple having sex.

Suzanne said: "It's a safe sex guide to making sex fun, written by the sex editor of Cosmo."

So not a blue movie then?

"It includes everything from masturbation and sex toys to getting in the mood, different positions, foreplay - whatever," Suzanne went on.

"It is explicit but people have been really delighted because the thing about sex education videos is that although they show people having sex they are usually quite serious.

"It can be quite boring. We thought that through things like Sex And The City it isn't such a taboo subject any more so you can make it fun and flirty.

"The reaction has been really good. People have been saying they have been waiting for something like this.

"Most sex education videos date quite quickly. A bad one might be some Dallas couple - him with a handlebar moustache, her with huge hair, shoulder pads and a tacky floral bedspread - talking about their marriage problems and cutting to some soft lighting where they eventually get on with it but not in a very exciting way.

"We used real people. In fact, one of the couples in it is from Brighton."

Throughout our conversation I had been distracted by what looked like the jawbone of a smallish shark sitting on the next stall along.

Ian Marshall, of Intimate Medical Supplies, was boasting to people approaching his tent that he had developed a revolutionary new toy providing - how can I put this? - dual stimulation.

He handed the devices to women of all ages asking for no payment, simply that they returned satisfaction forms.

Ian told me: "The product is very beneficial to sufferers of aligasmia, the inability to achieve climax.

"It's made in the UK from medical grade silicone. The response has been phenomenal."

He went into a description of how to use it but I will spare you the details.

"This is a single-handed product," he beamed proudly and I found myself shuddering involuntarily.

"The majority of people ask what it is. You have some of the world's leading sexual therapists here and they are also asking what it is.

"It causes a lot of curiosity but once people understand it and they see the benefits, they all want one.

"Hopefully we will soon be supplying the medical industry throughout the United States and Europe."

The conference continued with a session on Sex And Computer-mediated Communications: Integrating Computer Technology And Intimacy And Relationships For The 21st Century.

Louise Madden told delegates about "locating the social in the language of computer-mediated sexuality: The case of sexualised spamming in the real-time chat".

And there was a heated discussion on the new sex drug which is giving Viagra stiff competition.

Men feel the effects of a Levitra pill within ten minutes - far faster than its rival, which takes an hour to work.

Levitra was launched last year by drugs firms GlaxoSmithKline and Bayer. Like Viagra, it works by boosting the blood flow to the nether parts.

But by then I had decided to stay at home and watch Dirty Den on TV.

He seems quite wholesome compared with this lot.