A DIY parking ticket told a woman there was room for "a 20-mule team, two elephants, a goat and a tribe of pygmies" in the space she had left her car.
Midwife Katrina Birch, 33, from Fiveways, Brighton, was on her way to the gym when she noticed the ticket on her car parked in Shaftesbury Road.
A would-be parking attendant had photocopied a penalty charge notice and filled in details of her car registration and the time and place where her vehicle was parked.
The ticket was accompanied by a hand-scrawled note which read: "Don't park like a c***."
A typed message on the reverse read: "This is not a parking ticket but if it were within my power you would receive two.
"Because of your bull-headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt to park you have taken enough room for a 20-mule team, two elephants, a goat and a tribe of pygmies.
"The reason for giving you this is so that in the future you may think of someone else other than yourself.
"Besides, I don't like domineering, egotistical or simple-minded drivers and you probably fit into one of these categories.
"I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the motorway at about 4.30am).
"Also may the fleas of 1,000 camels infest your ********."
Katrina said residents were often forced to double park due to parking restrictions and a lack of spaces.
She often struggled to find a space for her car when she returned home at 10pm each day after completing a 14-hour shift at Worthing Hospital.
Katrina said: "If I have to double-park, I'd never leave my car there on my day off.
"This is a really nice area and people don't take the mickey.
"They are considerate and if you ever see a car blocking people in, it has its hazard warning lights on or a note on the front with a number to phone if the car needs to be moved."
It is not the first time Katrina has received such a message.
She found the same short note stuck to the front of her car a couple of months ago when she was parked in a legal space.
She said: "I am really offended. It has left me feeling surprised and threatened.
"Although the note starts in an amusing manner I find its language vile and its tone threatening. Imagine if someone more vulnerable had received it.
"The cowardly person who distributes these notes has too much time on their hands and should know the correct way to deal with an obstruction in the road is by phoning the police."
A spokeswoman for Sussex Police said: "This is not funny. Pranksters like this have a very distressing effect on their victims.
"If this becomes a habit, we would urge her to contact us."
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