DEATH was all around the Victorians and they made the most of it as we can see in the great 19th century cemeteries that adorn most old towns. Few families were untouched by the terrible tragedy of a child dying and most people did not reach their three-score years and ten.

Look in the valley of the Brighton cemeteries off Lewes Road and you will see enormous monuments to the great and good of the town.

Many of the monuments are family tombs on which are carved the names of children who never made it to maturity. The parents accepted these deaths sadly and even stoicly, knowing that the Grim Reaper could scythe you down at almost any time.

Our attitude to death changed enormously after that. Walk further up the valley and you will see that as life expectation improved dramatically, so the memorials became smaller. The increased popularity of cremation meant that many people did not have gravestones at all.

It was almost as if death had replaced sex as the great unmentionable. Even today most people have never seen a corpse whereas this would have been unimaginable in the last century. Funerals became smaller, more modest and low key.

But there has been another change in the last few years. Cross over Bear Road into plots where people are still being buried today and note the difference. There, many of the modern headstones are prominent, not to say garish.

Some have adopted the Continental custom of including pictures of the deceased, usually flattering and from their prime. Children's graves are littered with their favourite toys including Teddy bears which often look forlorn after repeated exposure to the elements.

Funerals, especially for the young, tend to be flamboyant, accompanied by plenty of weeping and wailing. Religion is still invoked, even when the late lamented had never entered churches in their lives, but it is yoked to sentimentality.

Aclassic example came at the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997 when there was nearly a national nervous breakdown and the most poignant moment came when the pop star Elton John played a reworked version of Candle in the Wind.

It's much healthier that we are starting to discuss death again although I think we need to get rid of hype and hysteria to replace it with a more candid assessment of the dear departed and even a little humour.

Iexpect the celebration of my own demise to be lavish and not a little debauched with friends able to say what they like without fear of interruption. My death notice has already been compiled and begins: "Noisily at his home after a short illness, badly borne, and mourned by few."

But as for the great stone memorial or fetching picture, forget it. In death, as in life, I'd like to be not too much of a waste of space.

OFFICIALS are fond of putting up notices and then forgetting to take them down when they're out of date. So in Brighton and Hove they remain up for long-forgotten concerts or temporary road diversions.

The oldest ones I have noticed currently are on some recycling bins advertising that the 1996 phone books can be put there. Perhaps these notices could themselves now be recycled.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.