Cassie Watts and Jay were together 16 months and became engaged when they were just 15.

They had dreams of marriage, a home of their own and of having children - dreams that were destroyed when 16-year-old Jay suffered a stab wound on Brighton's Whitehawk estate.

Cassie, who lives with her family in Camber Close, just a short drive from where he died, has spoken for the first time of her loss.

She said: "We knew we were young to get engaged but we were deeply in love."

Her mother Tracey, 36, who has two other children, Neil, 11, and Chelsea, seven, said: "Cassie was young, I know, but she has always been mature so I didn't mind at all, and they were so well matched and so much in love."

Cassie, trying to study for forthcoming GCSE exams, has not eaten and has hardly slept since Jay's death last Friday.

She has found it easier to write down her feelings than speak about life without Jay.

Her letter placed at the shrine where he died reads: "You know if I could I would meet you at the gates of Heaven and bring you back myself. But I can't and that is something that is hurting me the most.

"At the moment, my life is like a puzzle and all the parts I need to complete it have been taken away from me forever.

"I know it hurts you to see me cry but Jay, I can't help it...

"I know you won't be gone for ever. We will meet again some day. I don't know where or when but I know one thing - I cannot wait.

"I loved you in a special way and I will never love someone in that way again for as long as I live."

More flowers arrived at the shrine in Whitehawk Way today and collection tins have been filling in shops on the estate for either a memorial or to help Jay's grieving family, who live in Pulborough Close, Whitehawk.

Cassie has been comforted by her family and a steady stream of visiting friends - there were more than 20 in her home on one occasion.

With dozens of sympathy cards filling the lounge, some from Marina High School teachers, Cassie told how she and Jay first met at the nearby school.

"He kept asking me out dozens of times, sometimes knocking on my front door, but I kept saying no. I heard he had a lot of girlfriends and I thought I would be just another one.

"I finally said yes, just to stop him asking. It was November 19, 1997.

"As the relationship grew we saw each other three times a week and when he moved to Whitehawk from Portslade we went out more and more.

"Jay would stay here some nights and in the end we saw each other every day.

"We bickered a lot sometimes, but I could never dump him. He was sometimes selfish but he was often kind and tender, and he was always funny and smiling.

"He said he would be loaded when he was older and dreamed of owning a Mercedes or a BMW and of moving out of Whitehawk and having a nice big flat. We talked of having children when we were 20."

Jay, a budding boxer and keen footballer, planned to work full time with Cassie's father Neil, 36, in his ceramic tiling business. He was allowed time away from school to work and was hoping to take up an apprenticeship.

Jay proposed to Cassie in May last year. Cassie laughed, thinking he was joking, but the next day they went shopping, supposedly for a birthday gift for Jay's mother.

He settled on a diamond and ruby ring and it was as they waited for their bus home that he turned to Cassie and said: "This is for you - I told you I wanted to marry you."

She said: "I was shocked. I thought everyone would think we were stupid because we were so young. But no one did.

"Jay always said he wanted us to get married in the year 2000, on my 17th birthday on February 17."

News of Jay's injury last Friday came via a telephone call from a friend.

Cassie rushed to the hospital and it was at 1am on Saturday that a doctor told her they were unable to revive Jay.

She refused to believe it and had to see his body in the mortuary the next day.

Cassie, who plans to attend Brighton College of Technology to take child care studies, still thinks Jay will be walking through her front door at any time.

She said: "I will always love him and I know I will never forget him."

Cassie wants to thank everyone - friends, family, staff at Marina High and even people she does not know, who have expressed their sympathy.

Two men have been charged in connection with Jay's death.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.