Have arrived at work exhausted every day, after trying to impress blond, athletic man from Hassocks with reading matter which, have to admit, is beyond comprehension and gives me headaches.

After Hassocks caught me sneaking home from work early last week with a bag of Catherine Cookson and Shirley Conran-type novels, while he was engrossed in illuminating novel about Uganda in the Seventies, I decided to outsmart him. Have therefore purchased A New Kind of Science by Stephen Wolfram, described in the blurb as "the greatest event in scientific publishing since Darwin's Origin of the Species."

Book allegedly describes how the complexity of the natural world has arisen from cellular automata . . . (none the wiser? - neither was I). It is supposedly written in layman's language but, so far, have failed to comprehend any of the diagrams which, by showing how squares build into a pyramid pattern on a chess board, apparently shed light on the mysteries of nature.

Result of all this trying to impress Hassocks has not been to enhance understanding of world but merely ensures I arrive at work cross-eyed and tired.

Hassocks, in turn, has responded to gesture of literateness by lugging a new-looking History of the 20th Century on to train every morning and is ploughing through it at an alarming rate.

This morning, as I was squinting over diagram, showing lots of triangles illustrating something or other, Hassocks appeared to have reached the end of the Cold War and, glancing over my shoulder, remarked: "Is that one of those books like A Brief History of Time that everyone reads and no one understands?"

"Well, err, no . . ." I stuttered, determined not to be humiliated in front of full carriage. "It's about . . ." (What the hell is it about?) "Er, how the natural world evolved out of a series of mathematical equations - I think."

At this point, previously unnoticed man, seated opposite, decided to reveal himself as one of select few who had also attempted to read work of mathematical genius.

"It's one of those books that, once you've read it, makes you realise that previously you went around without the slightest understanding of how the world works and now everything looks different." Ha - that told Hassocks!

On closer inspection, previously unnoticed man was tall, slim and attractive in a dark, curly-haired, bespectacled sort of way. Moreover, his remarks appeared, to me at least, to offer much-needed support in argument with Hassocks.

"It's all very well reading history books," previously unnoticed went on, "but if you don't understand the basics of how the world was created, you can never fully grasp the implications of people and politics." Now Hassocks was looking a bit less smug.

"Well," said Hassocks. "Perhaps when you've got to grips with it, you could lend it to me?"

"Of course," I muttered. Five minutes ago, I would have been delighted to do so, but now realised if I was going to get to know Previously Unnoticed better, I was really going to have to read it again.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.