When you have lived together for several years there is a natural tendency to become complacent.

Being so used to each other you may have lowered your standards of appearance.

It is understandable to want to wear comfortable clothes at home but are you also dressing in this way when you go out together?

Letting yourself go and not bothering any more is just as damaging to your inner self as it is to your relationship.

Not taking care of your appearance can give a very strong message to your partner that they are not worth dressing up for.

Is your aftershave or perfume only splashed on for special occasions?

Has your underwear and night attire become serviceable rather than sexy?

Desire can easily be doused so check out that wardrobe, throw out some of the passion killers.

Caring about your appearance has a beneficial effect on your partner. He or she will appreciate your effort.

Julia Meanwell is a relationship counsellor.