Feature: Gay weddings

But one issue left largely untouched is the subject of same-sex marriage.

Sally Hall talks to one couple who feel they have the right to a legally recognised relationship - and the priest who believes God approves of gay weddings.

A few weeks ago, the city of Amsterdam went confetti-crazy.

The cobbled streets were deluged with hundreds of loving couples all there to tie the knot.

But the event was not just notable for the sheer numbers involved.

What made it different was that every one of the couples was lesbian or gay.

Now gay partnerships have been legally recognised in Europe's most laid-back city, many of Brighton's gay and lesbian couples would like to follow suit.

Simon Seivewright and Gary Boxell hope to celebrate their ten-year relationship with a summer blessing at Brighton's Pavilion. Both wish the secular blessing would also hold some legal weight.

Gary will 'marry' as his alter-ego, Grace, wearing a spectacular dress and a flamboyant wig.

Simon is thinking of sporting a lightweight kilt in a nod to his Scottish heritage.

Together they believe they have every right to see their commitment recognised in a public ceremony.

Simon, 27, said: "It isn't so much that getting married means something in terms of a piece of paper. It still doesn't hold any weight in terms of getting a mortgage or making medical decisions.

"But for us, it does mean a blessing and a celebration of our relationship and a way of showing other people we care about our commitment and each other."

For years, Gary thought of marriage as a heterosexual institution which was more about ownership and possession than an expression of love.

He has turned Simon down in the past because of his beliefs.

But now the force of their love has led him to change his mind.

Gary, 38, of Havelock Road, said: "We have been through so much and we are still here at the other end. It is something to celebrate. It is something we are serious about too. People might see me dressed in drag and think it is just a bit of a laugh, but that is part of who I am. It isn't just a laugh."

Same-sex marriage is an issue which divides the gay and lesbian community. Many activists feel like Gary used to feel and believe marriage is best left to heterosexuals.

Some feel cheated of their chance to have the party of a lifetime with a frock and a cake. Many more agree a legal recognition of their relationship is more important.

This is certainly the official view of campaign group Stonewall.

A spokeswoman said: "There is clearly a need for lesbian and gay couples to have their partnerships recognised in law. Some of the consequences of that not being the case are very traumatic.

"We know of countless examples where people have been in hospital and a decision about their treatment has had to be made by someone else.

"Often the family may be estranged, particularly if they disapprove of their child's sexuality, yet the decision will be down to them. The wishes of the partner, who may have been committed to the relationship for years, may be completely ignored.

"Even when a relationship is blessed, it does not stand up in the eyes of the law. I don't think we as a society understand the consequence of that."

Stonewall advises same-sex couples to make wills in order to enshrine their commitment and ensure partners will have some legal rights when it comes to mortgages, medical care and inheritance issues.

This is a view shared by Simon Fanshawe, who has never seen marriage as an option for himself.

He said: "As far as I'm concerned the important thing is that people get treated with respect as proper partners. Longtime relationships are worthy of respect.

"People should be recognised as spouses in a way that's equal so they get the benefits of their partner's pension, or the house if their partner dies.

"Marriage is a good excuse to have a great party, but the downside is you end up with too many ironing boards."

But Pastor David Miller believes legal recognition of gay and lesbian relationships is only one part of the story.

As far as he is concerned, same-sex marriage is about blessing a relationship in the eyes of the Lord.

Pastor David has blessed thousands of gay and lesbian partnerships in the last 20 years.

He is a member of the Metropolitan Community Church, a worldwide church which embraces lesbians and gays.

At one time, he organised a wedding tent at London's Pride festival, where he would bless between 60 and 100 couples in a day. He now performs up to 20 ceremonies a year across Sussex.

He said: "The blessing is a religious rite. The right of holy union is comparable with the right of holy matrimony.

"In some ways it is very different. We don't have one person given away by the other. But they do make vows and exchange rings. "They must be over the age of consent, in a relationship for six months for a blessing and a year for holy union and they must believe in God."

Pastor David, who lives in Hollingdean, says the blessing certificate has held some weight in enabling gay couples to have their relationship recognised. But again he recommends making a will.

He said: "I also perform funerals and where gay couples are involved sometimes it's horrendous. Partners can be made to stand at the back while an estranged family sits at the front and leaves them out in the cold."

Despite all the arguments he has been faced with in the past, he continues to believe God approves of all loving relationships.

"Jesus himself said 'Whosoever shall believe in me shall have eternal life'. That means everyone, with no exception.

"People often quote the part in Leviticus which says 'thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind'. But Leviticus is the priestly law, which only applied to priests. After all, it also says you musn't wear red or eat crabmeat, and we don't think people are acting against the Lord if they do that.

"God loves gay people as he loves all of those who believe in him, and he blesses their relationships as he blesses straight relationships.

"Gay couples see their wedding as a real commitment. Interestingly, there is a much lower separation rate than the divorce rate in the heterosexual community. Couples really do stay together."