Ricardo wrapped up the Brighton League Division Four championship, then produced their own tabloid back page.

With the headline "champions" their spoof page includes a report of their 2-1 win against Rottingdean Village, along with pictures of players, club secretary Mel Chown, statistics and a run down of all the team -including supporters. Perhaps the editor of the page should send their CV to our editor!

SPELLING TEST Millennium Mid Sussex League secretary Dave Hall had an funny question for me this week. He asked how to spell the word "Millennium"! Two Ls and two Ms, Dave! Thank goodness his spelling is better when he sends us his Don't Shoot The Ref! column. Some brainstorm.

BEEDING BABES Upper Beeding completed their 21st consecutive win when they beat Cowfold 4-1 in the West Sussex League Premier Division. The result sealed the title. Earlier in the season four of the players became proud dads. What a way to celebrate the birth of their Beeding Babes.

LITTLE DEVILS There's no stopping those little Devils. Arundel Devils U-12s' two teams have won their respective Sussex Girls' League divisions this season with 100 per cent records this season. And it's been a pretty joint effort judging by the A team's exploits. Lorraine Horne's goal at the weekend means every player in the side has found the net this season.

NORTHBROOK ARGUS You might already be thinking this is the Northbrook Sports Argus -but there was another funny line to come from the Worthing club this week. The club's reserves defeated JFP 3-2. Their opponents only had nine players and the number was reduced to eight when Zafer Sirham agreed to officiate with Northbrook sportingly withdrawing one of their players. JFP were unlucky as two late goals cost them a draw.

BE WARNED Ashley Slaughter has declined the chance to officiate men's games until next season. The 15-year-old who warned earlier in the season "If players step out of line they're off" is giving the men a stay of execution. But be warned, because he will be applying the laws of the game to the letter.

UP FOR THE HORSES Seagulls U-15s keeper Matt Worsfield can't wait for this marathon season to come to an end. For Matt has another passion outside football - horse driving. He can't wait to pull off his boots and enter summer events.

SPRING SIXES Ex-albion player Danny Deans is looking for clubs to enter Southwick's six-a-side tournament. It is being staged at Hill Barn Way on Sunday, May 13. For details, contact Danny on 01903 593551 or Paul Howell on 01902 851499.

MUDDY FEET AT LAST Our long-awaited match with Newsquest Basildon was played at Whitehawk on Thursday night. The game has been postponed about seven times since it was arranged, but your Argus team finally completed the job by winning 6-1.