If they ever make a Carry On Cricket movie then Southwick Wanderers' David Gravett has already had his audition and should get the lead role.
The Wanderers all-rounder had a Sunday afternoon containing all the ingredients of the classic British comedies with David reluctantly thrust into the leading role of the hapless hero.
The farce started with a phone call on Friday night from captain Mark Scholfield telling David that Wanderers had a match with Ifield, that's in Crawley, on Sunday and everyone was making their own way there.
At 1.30pm on Sunday, David happily set off for his match - the only problem being, he was heading for Isfield in East Sussex.
Nothing was amiss when he arrived at Isfield, none of his team-mates had arrived but there was obviously a match on so he went in the away dressing room and started putting on his cricket whites.
Knowing his side had a few new players, when a couple of unfamiliar faces joined him in the dressing room, David, who has only been playing with the club a couple of seasons, was not too surprised he didn't know them and politely introduced himself.
By 2.15pm there were 11 other unfamiliar faces in the away dressing room and the penny had dropped.
David said: "The trouble was I took the call on Friday and it was two mobile phones so it wasn't that clear.
"The captain probably did say Ifield but he mentioned a railway station, and there is a railway track at both grounds so I immediately thought, 'Oh yeah, I've been there before.
"Even when I was in the dressing room I knew we had two or three new players so I just introduced myself, but when there were 13 players and I didn't recognise anyone I thought even I am not that stupid and knew something was wrong. I just went who are you lot?
"It was the other team who wondered whether I should be in Ifield."
He added: "To cap it all, I got lost going to Crawley. I took a wrong turn and by then it was too late so I started driving back to Brighton.
"I saw a couple who had run out of petrol with a can so I thought I'd pick them up and take them to the garage.
"When they got in the car the bloke sat in the front and I asked him what he needed and all he said was petrol before he suddenly went, 'I don't feel well' and honked all over my car. I was not pleased.
"I then had to spend time cleaning up my car after he had been sick."
David said: "It's funny now but at the time I was fuming but my daughter was just laughing at me."
Wanderers team-mate Tony Preston said: "David is a larger than life character and a good cricketer. I'm sure this story is going to go down in our folklore."
Owzat! has chuckled at this one so the London Pride's going to Wanderers.
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