I notice new Tory leader Brian Oxley is asking Brighton and Hove City Council to investigate the sighting of a "white substance" in the sea (Argus, July 7).

To save the council's time and expense, I can confirm this was Moby-Dick, the great white whale. Fortunately, it was heading out to sea. Hove is safe.

Now I have cleared this matter up, would The Argus like to consider donating an entire issue to the concerns of Brian Oxley?

This could cover every weed sighting, cracked paving stone, white substance at sea and the beauties of the Hove floral clock.

This concession should only be given on condition the paper is free of Oxley trivia for the next five years.

-Michael Fisher, Kings Road, Brighton