It started with an innocuous phone call. Was I, by any chance, free that afternoon? I was?

Oh, how splendid. Was I up for a bit of Honorary Grandmothering as Mama and Papa had been invited to a leaving bash and the usual helper was not available during the day.

Grandson was going on safari into Brighton and would be accompanied by a school mate so I would only be baby sitting for granddaughter.

So off I went with a big fat paperback, hope in my heart and goodwill to all men.

I was not aware that I was about to become the victim of a clever confidence trick.

On arrival, I was soon comfortably settled on a sofa from which it would be difficult to escape - you know the sort of thing, large and squishy with cushions as big as a double bed.

No matter, I was not planning much in the way of movement anyway. I was expecting to read my book and cast a languid eye over grandchild from time to time to make sure she had not escaped into the surrounding countryside.

In your dreams, babe!

First, we had the tea ceremony. Large tea pot, almost too big for granddaughter to manage unaided but, disregarding my impending heart attack as she gamely fought for control of the monster, I was duly served with a full cup in splendid style.

Then there was the cake to be dealt with.

For me it was a bit too close to lunch but, hey, what's a slice of cake between friends?

The fact that after I had eaten a very large slice I was patently less likely to be able to move off the even more squishy sofa was part of the game plan.

By this time we had been joined by grandson and chum, who had got back from Brighton earlier than expected with their homing instincts in full flight as they zeroed in on the cake.

By now granddaughter was dying to tell me all about her trip to the Isle of Wight for a stay at an adventure camp while I was debating the safety of skateboarding with the two boys.

We reached an amicable agreement and I was then free to listen to tales of derring-do on pirate ships, abseiling walls and the like.

After some time she decided that she would like to play in the garden, which raised my hopes of some of that magical peace and quiet I had been promised.

But as she went out of one door, grandson appeared at the other, having sent chum home.

He took over where granddaughter had left off, sharing stories of what the big boys had been up to at camp, which had clearly been a great success with both of them.

Finally came my biggest test of my suitability to be a granny.

Apparently grannies know everything about handcraft, including how to weave on a hand loom. The fact that I have been endowed with two left hands was absolutely no excuse.

Then, mysteriously, grandson appeared again and started telling me about his new school term. We had a fine afternoon, no reading or time to think beautiful thoughts, of course, but very entertaining.

When the parents appeared, having had a very relaxing time, they asked me how the children had behaved. Before I could pay tribute to their impeccable behaviour, I was pipped at the post as they replied with one voice: "Oh don't worry, we looked after granny very well. We took it in turns and she wasn't left alone at all."