I wish FIFA would stop changing the rules without telling us.

Apparently the decision makers made a couple of significant changes at a meeting last weekend Firstly they decreed that centre-forwards are now allowed to catch the ball, roll it round the defender and then kick it into the net.

They also decided that committing a foul three yards inside your own penalty box is now penalised only with a free-kick outside the area. Wycombe were the first beneficiaries of these new rules, enforced so impeccably last Tuesday night by Mr Crick. I am embarrassed to reveal that Mr Crick lives in the same village as me - should I pay him a visit?

Before I write anything that might lead to me being hung drawn and quartered by the FA, I will leave it to my brother, Jon, to describe the officials performance at Wycombe. Jon has baited a few dodgy referees during 35 odd years of following Aston Villa and he told me it was "the worst display by a set of officials I've ever seen since the Villa versus Southampton match the previous night."

It was a shame such a vibrant match was overshadowed. The lads were disappointed afterwards because the Wycombe equaliser should have been disallowed and we were then denied a clear penalty. I know the antics of Andy Rammell upset our fans but I would have tried exactly the same thing if I knew I could get away with it. I don't think it was a good idea of his to try and warm down in front of our fans though. I think he might come to regret that.

But there were plenty of positives to take from the evening, not least the magnificent travelling support. Thank you everyone.

Jonesy surprised everyone. Not just by scoring a fantastic volley with his right foot but also buying a round in the bar afterwards - wonders will never cease!

The riddle of the Dutch SAS chef's "bananafoot" was also finally solved. As you may know, Michel has a slight tendency to kick the odd ball off the straight and narrow. At Wycombe their supporters behind the goal pelted him with coins. Being so cash-conscious he picked the money up and decided to save it by putting the coins down his sock. Unfortunately the money slipped right down to his feet and its not easy kicking a ball straight with £5 worth of loose change jiggling about in your boot!

Our previous match against Bournemouth was a strange affair. We played like AC Milan for the first 30 minutes and like The Dog and Duck for the final hour. I don't accept that we were lucky to win though. Nobody could have complained if we had scored at least four times in our opening burst. Poor Bozzie had a bit of bad luck after the game when his car conked out in Hove. He was distraught as his beloved Brava was towed away. He tried to make the lads have a moment's silence in the car's honour until someone pointed out that it would work if only he put petrol in it.

The ITV cameras rolled into the training ground last week as part of a Nationwide competition to find the quickest player and the man with the hardest shot. Chippy Carpenter nearly broke the speed gun in winning the hardest shot, Robbie Pethick was at a disadvantage because he couldn't even hit the net. The 30 yard dash was very competitive. A few of the lads fancied their chances but Bozzie chickened out. He complained of suffering from a cold so while Malcolm Stuart rubbed some vic into his chest, the other sprinters competed. Harty proved to be the winner, just beating Steeley, the pre-race favourite, into second spot. Apparently Harty is the quickest player they have recorded on the stopwatch so far. They needed a calendar to time the race between Watto, Dodge and myself!

Finally, we have a Tuesday off next week - thank heavens for that! At last a chance to recuperate and sort out the possibility of a PFA strike. Seeing as the action only regards televised matches, it doesn't really affect us! Do the cameras know where Withdean is?