What does become of the broken hearted? It's a question many of us ask ourselves at this time of year in the lead up to Valentine's day.

In search of internet answers to Jimmy Ruffin's musical plea, I decided to use the search engine Ask Jeeves.

Unfortunately, the five sites returned suggested Jeeves did not know everything.

Clicking on the first link delivers the lyrics to Ruffin's song: "As I walk this land of broken dreams I have visions of many things. Happiness is just an illusion . . ." Not the most optimistic return on my time online.

The next references pointed me towards two Australian sites. Anyone who has turned, or had their world turned, upside down might favour a quick trip Down Under but, unless you are interested in film reviews or the Songwriters', Composers' and Lyricists' Association, you would be sorely disappointed.

The fourth link could be the final straw for most star-crossed lovers. It said: "Browser not supported. Unfortunately, Microsoft.NET Passport does not support the web browsing software you are using." For the record, I use Microsoft Internet Explorer to browse the internet.

Help arrived in the form of healmybrokenheart.com, which promises five steps to heal a broken heart.

Ignoring the heart repair calculator, I headed straight for the site's music suggestions. Alongside Pink Floyd's The Wall and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, the site recommended Metallica's ReLoad - proof, if ever it was needed, a lonely heart should not be put at the mercy of the world wide web.

I considered a number of further song-related questions, including "Why do fools fall in love?" and "Do you know the way to San Jose?" but decided not to push my luck.

Leaving Jeeves to update his browser, I checked my hotmail account for more answers. Although I found five new emails, they were spam - nothing more, nothing less. But one message immediately attracted my attention.

You Can Sexually Attract Women Instantly was the catchily-subjected email, whose message revealed scientists have isolated the human pheromone, androstenone, found in human sweat.

The message described pheromones as "nature's secret attractant" and offered an opportunity to sample this secret weapon for a mere £70.

Not that a certain Mr Webb needed androstenone when he had £251,000 to purchase the wifely services of QXL's e-bride Kay Hammond. Preparations for the internet's wedding of the year are well advanced.

www.ask.co.uk
www.healmybrokenheart.com
www.hotmail.com
www.qxl.com