A man admitted knifing his lover to death after a blazing row about her decision to end their troubled two-year relationship.
But Anthony Pate, 47, denied intentionally killing Kim Baldry in her lounge at Gorringe Road, Eastbourne, on December 9 last year.
He claimed he "punched out" at her without realising he was holding a small knife.
Pate, of Belle Vue Road, Eastbourne, said: "I realise I have killed her and I will pay the price for that.
"But I didn't even want to hurt her, let alone murder her. You are making out that it was cold-blooded - that I am a cold, callous murderer."
Lewes Crown Court heard Pate, a decorator, had sent two text messages to Mrs Baldry on December 9, saying he loved her. She did not reply.
Philip Katz, prosecuting, told jurors Pate spent part of the day drinking in pubs before deciding in the evening to catch a taxi to Mrs Baldry's home.
When he arrived he found Mohammed Ali-Saber sharing a drink with Mrs Baldry, 44, which he reacted angrily to, the jury was told.
Mr Katz said Pate accused Mr Ali-Saber of an affair with Mrs Baldry.
After Mr Ali-Saber left, Pate said he had told Mrs Baldry he had slept with his ex-wife the previous evening. Pate claimed it was the catalyst for Mrs Baldry's knife attack on him.
But Mr Katz said Pate arrived at Mrs Baldry's home in aggressive mode after drinking. He claimed he stabbed her 21 times after she jilted him.
Pate insisted he stabbed Mrs Baldry after she initially lunged at him in a frenzy.
Pate said: "I thought Kim was punching me in the stomach, which was what it felt like. I looked down and saw blood.
"I grabbed Kim's hand that had the knife in and I just punched out at her. I didn't realise I had the knife in my hand.
"What I've done is unforgivable. I don't know what to say because the poor woman must have suffered."
The court heard Pate had a history of mental health problems for which he had been prescribed medication, including Prozac.
But Pate said he came off Prozac on Mrs Baldry's advice because it made him calmer and improved their sex life.
Pate denies murder. The trial continues.
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