Karen Hoy reports on a child helpline giving advice to kids and parents across Sussex struggling to cope with emotional stress and depression.
BEING a parent does not mean you are automatically equipped with the skills to be a good parent or even a parent who can resolve your child's problems.
In today's society, young people can face a raft of problems not encountered by previous generations.
Children now sit exams in primary schools and are under pressure to achieve academically throughout their school years.
They face immense peer pressure on how to behave and what to wear.
Some face more serious problems at home, which can range from family breakdown and bereavement to domestic violence or sexual abuse.
The organisation Parentline Plus helps parents with advice on any problems they may encounter in bringing up their children.
Figures reveal more than 1,200 parents and carers from Brighton and Hove called the charity's helpline between April 2001 and April this year.
The number of children suffering from some form of disorder has risen across Sussex, according to experts.
One mother of a nine-year-old boy, who contacted the organisation for help, said her son became extremely stressed because of bullying at school and violence at home.
The mother said: "My son is being bullied at his new school and has been witness to the violent break-up of our marriage.
"He has decided not to see his father and is feeling a little vulnerable.
"I'm frightened of any long-term repercussions and am desperate to bring up a non-violent son."
Another mother said: "My 13-year-old son is playing truant from school and setting fires at home.
"His behaviour has deteriorated since his grandfather died last year.
"His grandmother looks after my children when I am at work but she spoils my daughter and is horrible to my son. I also shout at him a lot."
These mothers may have problems which are deemed extremely serious, while other children have problems which may not be of such magnitude but are equally disruptive to their lives and emotional state.
One mother of a 12-year-old boy said: "I have tried everything to stop my son being bullied at school and they have not helped at all.
"His school says it is just childish banter and our GP just tells him to fight back and not let them get away with it.
"But he is depressed and angry and is refusing to return to school."
On Monday Parentline Plus launched its second annual Talking Families week.
Talking Families was set up in the wake of research which showed that parents were becoming increasingly worried about their children's levels of stress and anxiety.
Many parents were looking for guidance on how to help their children with emotional distress and depression and to find out where they could turn to for help.
Nationally 40 per cent of callers to Parentline Plus are ringing because they are concerned about a child's emotional and mental health and this issue is now at the forefront of the charity's work.
The problems facing young people are on the rise, according to Sussex-based youth psychiatrist Derek Blincow, director of children's services at South Downs Health NHS Trust.
He said: "In 1968 there was a study which found that seven per cent of kids suffered with mental health disorders.
"They did the same studies recently and found that in some urban areas the figures were now as high as 15 per cent. It has been a relentless rise in the past 20 to 30 years."
Expectations on kids were higher now than they had ever been before.
Kids were also feeling a lot more pressure to perform from an early age.
Dr Blincow added: "You also have to say that things like peer pressure also contribute plus there are a lot more vulnerable kids who are making it through the early years into adolescence now.
"I think you have to say the number of cases in Sussex has gone up.
"There is a lot more recognition of the symptoms as well these days but schools and parents often miss the early signs and don't do anything until the problem has become very severe."
Peter Eldrid, deputy chief executive of Parentline Plus, said there was far more awareness of the mental health issues affecting young people today.
He said: "What we have highlighted is that there is a lot of anxiety among parents and carers about challenging behaviour and mental health issues, which can come as a surprise to some people.
"It has been recognised that one in five children will have some experience of a mental health problem.
"This problem can affect their everyday lives, impacting on things like school attendance.
"We are beginning to understand that children are capable of having the same feelings as adults, although they manifest them differently."
There was also evidence to suggest more pressure was being put on youngsters today in general.
Mr Eldrid said: "We have higher expectations than we used to. There are more exams and more pressures on them to prove themselves.
"Nowadays there are lots of images and expectations that mislead young people into believing they have to look or behave in a certain way.
"For some young people it can get out of proportion. It can become the only way of getting a sense of self esteem or importance.
"We want to help young people think positively and contribute more."
The first signs of problems could manifest themselves in a change in the way a child behaved.
He added: "Children have very different ways of expressing their personalities, so people should be on the lookout for any changes.
"It can be hard for parents as well. Often the stress can be put down to an incident like a bereavement but often it is random or obscure and that can be difficult."
He said Talking Families Week aimed to raise parents' awareness of the help available to deal effectively and cope with emotional issues affecting their children.
"We are trying to highlight our services, which can provide parents and carers with the support they need."
The helpline number is 0808 8002222. A text phone is also available for people with speech problems on 0800 7836783. The web site address is www.parentlineplus.org.uk
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