It was the usual Royal Command. My honorary family had been away on holiday and I was being summoned to tea to hear all about it.
They had gone off on a narrow boat, cruising down the Thames (or up the Thames - I never was much good at geography). What was interesting was the boat appeared to have had no less than four captains. As only four of the family had gone on the holiday, you can see how that might have caused some degree of confusion!
It started with taking everything bar the proverbial kitchen sink and enough food to feed an army. Add three bicycles and wet weather gear and you have a rough idea what the family car had to cope with.
Since every possible space is in use on the narrow boats, I was amazed there was room for the crew, all four of whom were insisting they were the captain and would be steering the vessel.
It was certainly a steep learning curve. A quick run-through the rules of navigation, a check to see there was enough fuel and water and they were unleashed on the unsuspecting waterways.
The bikes were housed on top of the main cabin, a fact which proved difficult later on when they came to a low bridge, under which the boat would not go with the bikes in situ.
They had to be hastily unshipped, while one of the other captains held the boat steady in the middle of the river, and stored in the cabin, which was then too full of bikes to allow entry to Papa and Mama, whose sleeping quarters it was.
But they say that plenty of exercise is a good thing before bed and I gather that there was some free and frank discussion as to the future of the bikes' storage.
There are a lot of bridges on the Thames, not all as low as this one, but enough to encourage the onset of a heart attack if not spotted in time.
The first night Papa fell out of bed. The bed was somewhat narrow and high, to allow for storage underneath, and he landed with a crash on the cabin floor. Hoping to get back to sleep again, he found a long strap and strapped himself in.
All was well until his wife decided she wanted to get out of bed and found she was firmly secured to the cabin walls, leading to a little more free and frank - well, you know the rest. The fact that they had tied up for the night outside a pub had nothing to do with it, I promise you.
Mama found the frequent yell "Lock ahoy!" just as she was trying to make a cup of tea, cook a meal, wash up, etc, etc, led to a very active life as she had to stop whatever she was doing and take up her assigned position for going through the lock.
My honorary grandson was lock captain and apparently became very adept at it, which led to moments of free and frank etc with his sister, who had been busy on heron watch up to that point.
Every day brought some new delight as they floated gently along the waterways, exchanging news and views in the locks with other intrepid voyagers.
They moored up to allow a foraging party to go ashore on the bikes while one of the captains did a little quiet reading, the only chance he got, I was told.
To judge from the stories spilling out of the two younger members of the family, I can believe it - there seems to have been something going on almost every moment of the day.
If they enjoyed their holiday as much as I enjoyed hearing about it, they must have had a great time. I am not sure what they are lining up for their next adventure, but I guess it will have to be fairly spectacular to cap messing about on the river.
I expect there will be a free and frank exchange of views on it.
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