Confession time! Yes, I admit it, I am absolutely addicted to playing the National Lottery.

Every Saturday, I can be seen lurking round my local lottery shop, waiting for a quiet moment to buy tickets for myself, my wife and my son. I feel as shifty as if I was buying a clutch of those salacious magazines from the top shelf.

Not even the overdone TV advertisements for Lotto by that foul mouthed Scottish comic Billy Connolly, are enough to deter me.

However, if the shame of my addiction cannot stop me buying tickets, then my anger at the outrageous way the lottery funds are being handed out might just do the trick.

It is hardly surprising that ticket sales have sunk so low.

The declining popularity of the lottery was revealed when promoters announced the worst six months sales since its launch in 1994.

Even worse, distribution bodies such as the Arts Council and Heritage Fund, are just sitting on a whopping £3.5bn that should be handed out to 'good causes'.

The Heritage Fund alone has £1bn tucked away with firm spending plans for little more than half of that.

To make the sorry saga even worse, the now infamous Community Fund has been exposed for handing out millions of pounds to such groups as the National Coalition of Anti-Deportation Campaigns to champion the rights of terrorists, illegal immigrants and asylum seekers.

Some of its grants are bizarre in the extreme. Large sums have been given to help build greenhouses for Tibetan refugees in India, to fund services such as aromatherapy massage for Scottish prostitutes, to expand a telephone helpline for people mourning the death of a pet and to help Peruvian farmers breed meatier guinea pigs for eating.

The organisers of the Community Fund have shown nothing but contempt for the British public. They spend £24m a year on administration costs, including interest free loans for season tickets, free gym membership and £100 personal development grants for every employee. Good causes?

Why does it cost so much just to give money away?

The Arts Council, another big spender on its own administration, has squandered £2,000 on a Northumberland artist to explore whether sheep can write poetry. The artist described it as 'an exploration of quantum mechanics, art, poetry and sheep.'

With all that money being handed out to dubious causes, it is even more sickening that an application for £70,000 to help restore Jevington Parish Church near Eastbourne, was refused. Its tower dates back to 900 AD.

Many other worthy causes such as the National Institute for the Deaf and St Dunstan's charity for blind war veterans have also been refused.

So if I cannot control my pathetic lottery addiction and dump the habit, there is an honourable alternative.

With a £10m win, I could help with restoring the Jevington church tower.

But don't hold your breath Vicar. My lottery record, so far, has been pitiful.