The news was broken to me gently. Nothing more could be done; there was only one solution.

A part of me wanted to get it over with there and then but another, bigger part, was too afraid.

I was advised to go home and think about things calmly and quietly before making my mind up. On my return I sat down with The Mother, hoping, I suppose, for a little sympathy and understanding.

"How long have you got before you have to make a decision?" she asked after I had given her the facts.

"Two, maybe three weeks," I said.

"I wouldn't have waited. I would have got it over and done with," she said.

I told her I was afraid, that my hands were still sweating.

"Don't be such a wimp - it happens to all of us at some time," she said.

"Well I would rather be asleep when it happens to me," I replied.

"Your generation is just too soft," she said derisively.

"What are we talking about here? You've just been told you need to have one tooth out and you're shaking with fear. I had eight teeth removed without any kind of anaesthetic."

"Bravo!" I said. "But you're forgetting I haven't had a tooth removed since I was at school. In fact I haven't had a tooth removed since the days when the tooth fairy used to pop in and leave sixpence by my pillow for each one I had had out.

"And," I added, "this is a very big tooth."

In fact, it was a big tooth but now all that remains is a big stump with jagged edges, which nick my tongue.

The tooth broke while I was chewing a toffee (I'm a great believer in the no pleasure without pain principle). Ten, even five years ago, it would have survived with a little additional amalgam and some careful brushwork twice a day.

Today it has all but crumbled away and in a couple of weeks I must grit my remaining teeth and have it removed.

The question is, should I be brave and have it done while I'm fully conscious or should I decide not to be brave and have a general anaesthetic?

There is worse to come, many would say much worse and I would be among them.

As the tooth is too far gone to provide a base for a crown, once it has been removed I will be left with a large gap.

And into that gap will be placed ... a denture! This will be a first for me and as you get older you don't get many of those.

"Strange isn't it - nowadays you can have heart, lung and liver transplants but you can't have teeth transplants," I told The Mother.

"Sharks are much better designed than us. When they lose teeth they just grow a set of spares."

The Mother sighed. "I'm tired of hearing about you and your dental problems," she said.

"Look, I have a suggestion. Stop fussing, go and have that wretched tooth out and maybe the tooth fairy will come and leave sixpence at the side of your pillow like she did when you were a little girl."

"Sixpence!" I said. "Oh, come on now. Haven't you forgotten about inflation?

"Call it £5 and it's a deal."