My night at 'worst hotel'

The BBC consumer affairs programme Watchdog branded the George Hamilton V guesthouse in Kemp Town as the worst it had found in all of the UK.

Judges described the hotel in Lower Rock Gardens as "the most disgusting place we've had the misfortune to stay in".

With this in mind, I did not think it would particularly difficult to secure a room at the premises.

Yet, just days after being named the worst holiday accommodation in the UK, the No Vacancies sign was up in the front window of the hotel.

After fruitless hours spent trying to reserve a room by phone, I was finally enlightened to the fact the hotel did not take bookings - it was "first come, first served".

Clearly, being branded dirty, mouldy, smelly, grimy and hairy on national television was not enough to put everyone off staying there.

My wary partner and I arrived just in time to secure the last double room available for Saturday night. A couple who turned up less than a minute later were turned away.

It is unlikely they shed any tears as the smell on entering the premises was musty and distinctly off-putting.

Still, I was in for a treat - a night at a guesthouse branded "horrible" by an experienced hotel inspector who fled after just one night and asked never to be sent there again. Another judge thought it should be closed immediately.

The manager agreed we could inspect one of the 12 rooms before paying our £20 each and showed us to the third floor.

The room was small but had its own shower, toilet and a priceless view of the sea and Palace Pier.

We were given a key and told we could come and go at any time. A choice of full English breakfast or scrambled eggs was offered, served until 9am.

We were told only couples were allowed to stay at weekends because "you should see the damage lads can do".

The Watchdog inspectors found rotten window frames, a shoddy balcony, carpets in need of refurbishment, filthy cupboards and ceilings, stained pillowcases, a broken bathroom light switch and a door that would not close.

My pillowcases seemed fine. The sheets were clean too, although I immediately regretted checking the mattress, which was stained and mouldy.

The carpet was frayed and unfortunately extended into the small toilet, leading to an inevitable aroma of damp.

The wallpaper was peeling and chunks of plaster were on view but the chest of drawers looked reasonably clean.

The wardrobe too was well built - steadfastly refusing to open.

The shower was grimy and not equipped with a temperature dial. Probably there was no need because its preferred - indeed only - setting was cold.

The toilet and sink looked perfectly clean, which was just as well because the unwary guest could have got stuck in there for hours with the door only opening from the outside.

At least the windows opened, despite the frames having seen better days.

In the morning, we, and the rest of the guests, were woken by the sound of the manager banging on every single door yelling "Breakfast at nine!".

We made it down to the basement dining room ten minutes late. Just one other couple joined us.

We had our pick of the nine tables and chose the one furthest from the kitchen, where someone was, worryingly, having a coughing fit. I hoped the food was well covered.

It was a bad choice, apparently, as seconds later the cook emerged from the kitchen to shout at us and insist we moved to a table a yard away.

He later returned to explain how important it was we sat at the table that corresponded with our room number so he knew what we had ordered.

The breakfast was prompt and looked reasonably tasty. It would not win any awards but it was perfectly edible.

By checking-out time at 10am, I had grown almost fond of the place. The George Hamilton is not the most salubrious place in the world but then again, it is hardly the most expensive either.

It obviously has a market and the No Vacancies sign tells its own story.

When Watchdog confronted the manager about its lack of cleanness, he told them it was "as clean as it can be".

He said the toilets got cleaned every time guests left and the accommodation had been hoovered but not on the day of questioning.

He put the mould on the shower door down to rust and later, dirt.

The management of the George Hamilton V declined to respond to Watchdog and also had nothing to say to The Argus.

A man, who said he was the caretaker, would only say the show had been unfair and that the hotel remained "very busy".

A spokesman for Brighton and Hove City Council said: "Our tourism staff don't work with, or recommend to visitors, hotels like this that don't submit to inspection by either the AA, RAC or English Tourism Council."

Personally speaking, I think the views from the window and the kudos of having stayed in "the worst hotel in Britain" made spending a night there well worthwhile.

Though only one.